It Started in Russia
by Preppy Princess 5103
Summary: Some friends will do absolutely anything for each other. Harm & Mac fall into the habit of comfort sex when things in their lives get really screwed up.
1. Chapter 1

_It Started in Russia_

_Author: PreppyPrincess5103_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

_Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other._

Other than a few rogue tears that escaped when the Russian woman held him and sobbed, he hadn't cried. He couldn't cry. He was numb. He went through the motions, aware of Mac's constant gaze. They first took a train first to Novosibirsk, and then a plane to Moscow. They would spend one more night at the hotel before boarding a plane back to the States in the morning.

The travel was almost intolerably long, and very quiet. He had already told Mac he didn't feel like talking, so she read while he leaned back and closed his eyes. After what felt like an eternity they were finally back to the hotel where this adventure began. The front desk clerk was more polite this time as she checked them in and Mac received the keys to their two rooms. They remained quiet during the short elevator ride and Mac finally broke the silence when they stepped off.

"My room is next-door Harm. Please let me know if you need me." He just nodded and took a few steps towards his room. She watched him walk away and finally let the tears come. She went to her room, stepped inside and shut and locked the door. She sat on the edge of her bed and dropped her head to her hands and let the tears fall. She cried for Harm. For Harm Senior. For Trish Burnett. For Sarah Rabb. For all the people who lost someone in that war and never really knew what happened. When the tears finally stopped, she unzipped her suitcase, removed her toiletry kit and went into the small bathroom for the longest shower of her life.

Harm sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the uneven stitching on the comforter. He still felt numb. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that after all these years he finally knew what happened to his father. Finally. He needed to tell his mother. And his grandmother. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and mindlessly opened and shut it. His grandmother was alone at the farm. He didn't want to tell her with no one there to comfort her. But his mother had Frank. He needed to tell her. He did a mental calculation and realized it was still early in La Jolla. He scrolled through his contacts and landed on Burnett Residence.

"Hello?"

For probably the first time in his entire life he was thankful to hear Frank's voice.

"Hello?"

Harm cleared his throat. "Hi Frank, it's Harm."

"Harm!" Frank's voice was filled with relief. "Harm, it's so good to hear from you. We've been so worried. How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there Frank. Listen, I – I have some news about my father. Is mom there?"

The pause made Harm uneasy. "She is, Harm. She's in her office. Should I – should I be with her when you tell her?"

Part of Harm wanted to tell him no. This was about his dad. This didn't concern Frank. But it did. Because his mother concerned Frank. They had been married over twice as long as she had been with his father. He had loved her, cherished her, and protected her for over twenty years. He deserved to hear this as well. "Please, Frank. I want to tell you both at the same time."

"I'm going to put you on hold and go to her office. Stand by, son."

He listened to the silence while he waited and after a moment, he heard a click and Frank and his mother moving around.

"We're both here darling," Trish said, "we have you on speakerphone. And it's so good to hear from you."

He took a deep breath. "I found out what happened to dad." And for the next twenty minutes he told them the story of his Russian adventure, ending with the old woman in the Siberian taiga. When he finished, he was silent as Frank sniffled and his mother cried softly. "Mom, are you okay?"

"I will be. I'm so glad to finally know what happened to him."

A lump formed in his throat and he struggled to keep himself under control. "I'm glad too. It wasn't the answer I've spent my whole life hoping for, but I'm glad I know."

He heard her blow her nose and clear her throat. "Have you told your grandmother yet?

"Not yet. She's alone in that farmhouse, and I didn't want her to be alone when she hears the news. I'm going to drive up there when I get home and tell her in person."

"You're a good man," she said. "He would be so proud of you. We're all proud of you."

Harm could hear his mother start to cry again and Frank clearing his throat. "Harm, thank you for telling us. You sound worn out. You should try and get some rest. It sounds like you've had a hell of a few days."

"You have no idea, Frank. I'm going to do just that. I'll call you guys when I'm back home." He told them goodbye and ended the conversation. The lump in his throat was growing and he could feel the tears coming. He imagined Frank holding his mother as she cried and wanted someone to hold him. Mac had told him she would be there if he needed anything. He hoped she meant it.

Mac tied the belt of the robe around her middle and towel dried her hair with her discarded bath towel. She had just finished her skin care routine when she heard a knock at the door. Knowing it cold only be Harm she hurried to her door. He stood in the doorway, looking both nervous and heartbroken at the same time. "Hi." She said softly.

"I just called my mom and told her." He paused and held her gaze. "I told her that my dad is dead." His voice broke on the last word. She silently stepped out of the way, holding the door open for him. He sat down on her bed, buried his face in his hands and began to cry.

She sat next to him and placed a hand on his back. She moved her hand in small circles as the tears started falling. "Hey." She said softly. She placed her hand under his chin and lifted his head. He looked at her and she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. She the continued to stroke his back and bit her lip to hold back her own tears. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and continued to cry.

When the sobs finally began to subside, he lifted his head and looked at her. Wet blue eyes met sympathetic brown. Her hand was still moving up and down his back, and her fingertips brushed the bare skin of his neck. He was over sensitized, and her touch sent shivers through him. "Mac…" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

She pulled back quickly. "Harm, what are you doing?"

"I don't know, Mac. I have no idea what I'm doing. I just feel so lost and empty right now. I need to feel alive." He watched her. He could tell her beautiful brain was working overtime. And then he felt like an ass. She was his friend. She was his best friend. And he was a complete ass to put her in this situation. She shifted on the bed and stood up, and even though he didn't think it was possible, he felt even worse. "I'm sor…" His words trailed off as she untied her robe and let it fall to the floor. She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined. And even though they were friends and colleagues, he had definitely imagined.

She held out her hand to him and he stood. She moved her hands to the hem of his t-shirt and lifted it over his head. His breath was ragged and nearly stopped when she moved her hands over his bare chest to the button of his jeans. They locked eyes as she unbuttoned and slid down his pants. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of the jeans. She backed herself up to the mattress and scooted up to the headboard. He followed and captured her lips with his. She rolled them over so that she was on top of him. He moved his hands over her smooth thighs, over her waist and eventually up to her full breasts. She arched her back and then moved her hand to fist around him. He moaned and his head fell back to the pillow.

"Please, Sarah."

His use of her given name lit a fire in her and she slid over him. She froze once he was completely inside her and closed her eyes. "Oh my God…" She whispered. She looked down at him and smiled softly. His eyes were closed, and his lip was in between his teeth. "Harm." His eyes opened and she leaned over, her breasts touching his chest. She met his lips in another passionate kiss and she began to move again. She broke the kiss and grabbed onto the headboard as she continued to ride, harder and faster than before. His breathing quickened and she knew it was coming. He went rigid for a second and then emptied into her. Mac slowed and rocked gently as he came down. Once his breathing regulated, she pulled herself from him and lay next to him. She brushed his damp hair back and kissed his forehead. "You're alive Harm."

He looked at her, his eyes full of tears again. "Mac, I…"

She placed her finger over his lips. "Shh. Go to sleep, Harm. We'll talk in the morning." She felt his eyes on her as she got up and went into the bathroom. She washed up and hesitantly went back into the bedroom. He was asleep, and she was so thankful for that. She dug some clean clothes out of her suitcase, dressed quickly and climbed back into bed. Her head was racing. What had they done? He was her friend, her partner. Their friendship was the healthiest relationship she had ever had, and she was now terrified that they had ruined it. He shifted in his sleep and rolled towards her. One arm found his way over her middle and his head made its way to her chest. She sighed. Sleep now. They would talk about this in the morning.

End Part 1.


	2. Chapter 2

It Started in Russia – Part Two

Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other.

Notes: Thank you for reading! I haven't written anything since 2009, so watching this show and writing fanfic for this show are wonderful blasts from the past for me. Before I start, I have a question. When do you think Harm & Mac fell for one another? I first started watching this show when I was 14. My first episode was 'Full Engagement'. I was hooked the moment Harm cupped Mac's head and promised he'd get her through this. Watching as a melodramatic teenager, I was convinced it was love at first sight. As an adult I feel differently. I feel that the attraction was there instantly, but the love came much later. I just can't really pin down when it happened. For me, it was sometime before he left to go back to flying in season 4 (yes, I know he was with Jordan at that point in time) and obviously before Lifeline in Season 6. Anyways.

Part 2

He was awakened by sunshine and the smell of coffee. Not an altogether bad way to wake up. His eyes were stiff from all of the crying the previous night and it took a minute to pry them open. He saw her standing by the window and looked almost angelic in the sun. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, having absolutely no idea what to say to her after last night. "Morning."

She jumped a little at the sound of his voice in the quiet room. She turned to look at him and gave him a nervous smile. "Hey." Mac poured a second cup of coffee and walked over to the bed. She waited for him to sit up and then handed it to him. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." He looked down at the coffee in his hands. He wasn't okay. Not even a little bit. On top of everything with his father, he now had to deal with the ramifications from last night. He felt horrible. He had needed something to make him feel alive and she had willingly given herself. This could only mean horrible things for their friendship – their partnership. "Mac, about last night."

"Harm, don't." She sat down at the edge of the bed. "You don't have to apologize for last night."

"Mac, I feel like I used you. I am so, so sor-"

"Stop." She glanced at his sheet covered body, looking for a safe place to put her hand. She needed to touch him. To assure him that it was okay. She settled on his shin. "Harm, it's okay. I'm not going to say we should start a friends with benefits kind of thing and do this all the time, but I'm not ashamed of it, or traumatized by it. You needed comfort. And I wanted to give comfort. You're my best friend, Harm. I'm so glad I was able to be there for you and I don't regret a thing."

He sat the coffee on the nightstand and reached for her. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent. "Thank you," he whispered into her hair, "thank you so much."

She pulled back a bit and placed a kiss on his forehead. "You're welcome."

J

The flight home was long, but uneventful. Harm felt much better than he had the previous day. Knowing he had to tell his grandmother when he got home left him with a ball of dread in his stomach, but over all he felt better. More himself. And fortunately, things weren't too awkward with Mac. He was relieved she didn't hate him or feel used by him. But now he was filled with a curiosity about her. She didn't date much. Dalton was the only man she had dated since he had known her. So, was she celibate or did she have another friend to turn to when she was in need? He desperately wanted to know but was embarrassed to ask. He shifted uncomfortably in the much too small seat for a minute and was relieved when Mac lowered her magazine to her lap and looked at him.

"Stop fidgeting. What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

She rolled her eyes. "I know you. I know something's wrong. Talk to me."

He dogeared the page of the book he had been pretending to read and closed it. "Mac, I – I um…" He noticed her expression turned from curious to mildly annoyed and decided he needed to just say it. 'Do you have other 'friends' you turn to for comfort?"

Her eyes widened and she looked down at her magazine before looking back at him. "No! There's no one else right now. Harm, I don't have… anything if that's what you're worried about. And I'm on the pill."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not worried about that. Not even a little bit. I'm just curious." He didn't think he had ever been this uncomfortable in his life. How did he say this without giving credence to everyone's opinion on the size of his ego? "You just seem so okay with this. Most of the women I've been with… I mean…"

Mac bit back a smile as he stammered over his words. She put him out of his misery. "Harm. Most of the women you've been with want to date you. They want a relationship that ends with marriage and blue-eyed children. I'm not looking for that from you. And before you get offended, it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the fact that neither of us are in are in a place where we're ready for a relationship, and there's the little fact that we work together, and it wouldn't be appropriate." She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Just accept last night for what it was: two friends who have been through a lot and wanted a little comfort from one another." She could see him finally begin to relax and smiled warmly at him.

"So, our friendship is really okay? Things won't be weird?"

Mac shook her head. "Not for me. I mean, you know where my tattoo is now," she said with a playful smile, "but nothing needs to change between us."

He blushed at the mention of her tattoo. "One last apology, Mac. I'm sorry if last night wasn't good for you. I mean, I don't think you-" He trailed off feeling more embarrassed than he ever had. Both for the entire conversation and for what he was apologizing for.

She actually blushed this time and squeezed his hand. "Harm. Stop apologizing. Everything is fine. I promise you. Everything is fine."

J

Once they were finally back in Washington, they squared things away with the Admiral, and Harm took a little more leave to go to Pennsylvania to visit his grandmother. As much as Mac had tried to reassure him that everything was fine between them, she was relieved for the space. She didn't have any doubts that their friendship & partnership were fine, but it was nice to have him a few states away. Even though she had always known dating him would be a bad idea, she couldn't help the attraction. He was a beautiful man. Before Dalton she had been in the worst sexual dry spell of her life and she had even had a few fantasies about her gorgeous partner. And now she had first hand knowledge of what he looked like out of that uniform and she really hoped wouldn't be too much of a distraction.

Her first night home she ran herself a bath with enough bubbles for a weeks' worth of baths. She reclined in the tub with her abused copy of Pride & Prejudice – she couldn't handle any type of thriller right now – and just enjoyed the solitude. And thought about Harm. And more importantly, sex with Harm. It hadn't been the best of her life. He had been distraught, and his release had been more important than her pleasure. That's how she knew everything would be okay between them. They hadn't become lovers. There was no foreplay or multiple orgasms. It wasn't romantic or passionate. It was about comfort. She marked her page with an old polaroid of her and her uncle and sat the book on the floor. She leaned her head back against the bath pillow and closed her eyes. She missed romance. And passion. And orgasms that came from something that wasn't made of rubber and two AA batteries. Maybe it was time to start dating again. It didn't have to be as intense as what she had with Dalton. It didn't need to consume her. But it would be nice to have someone to go to dinner and a movie with every once in a while.

End Part 2. Sorry it was so short – but they needed to have the awkward morning after talk


	3. Chapter 3

_It Started in Russia_

_Author: PreppyPrincess5103_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

_Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other._

_Spoilers: Takes place during People vs. Mac (Season 4, Episode 9)_

_Notes: There is a scene in this episode where Mac thanks Harm for keeping her out of the brig. I'm not sure how that went down exactly, but in my head, Harm was able to keep her out by taking responsibility for her. She was shaken up and emotional and Harm takes her home. Also, I honestly can't remember if Mac ever did tell Harm about being married prior to this episode. I'm doing a re-watch and it hasn't been mentioned yet. So in my world Harm knew nothing about her marriage until she calls him to say she's killed her husband._

**Part 3**

After fumbling with her keys for longer than usual, Harm took them from her and opened the door to Mac's apartment. He placed a hand on the small of her back and nudged her inside. He flipped the light switch on and set her keys on the small table by the door. He watched as she rubbed her hands vigorously on her coat and he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Mac." His voice was soft and gentle, and his touch was light. He didn't want to scare her or rattle her. He gently turned her to face him. Her hair was disheveled, there were tear tracks down her cheeks, makeup smudged under her eyes, and she was still unbelievably beautiful. "Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head. "I think I just need a shower."

He moved one hand from her shoulder and cupped her face. "Go take a shower Mac. I'm going to make some tea. And when you're finished, we can talk." He gave her a smile when she nodded, and he took both of his hands from her. "I'll be here, Mac." He watched her until she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Once he heard the water running, he took out his phone and called the admiral.

"Rabb, why are you calling me at this hour?"

Harm flinched at the greeting and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to call so late, sir."

"What's going on?"

"Sir, Major Mackenzie was arrested tonight. For murdering her husband."

AJ barked out some sort of noise Harm couldn't decipher. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes. And it's worse. She was with Colonel John Farrow at the time, and he's been arrested too."

"Jesus Christ. Where is she now? And did you know she was married?"

"I had no idea," he said honestly, "she's never once mentioned a husband to me. And she's here with me. Or I guess technically I'm with her since we're at her apartment. She called me after calling the police and I managed to keep them both out of jail. I'm going to talk to her and figure out what's going on. I can call you back when I leave if you'd like."

AJ rubbed his palm over his eyes and looked at the clock on his nightstand. "No, we'll discuss this tomorrow in the office. Thank you for letting me know."

"Anytime, sir. Goodnight." Harm hung up his phone and headed to the kitchen to make the tea. He filled the blue enamel coated kettle that permanently lived on her stovetop and opened the cabinet he knew housed her tea stash. He reached for the tin of peppermint tea and two of the loose tea diffusers. Mac liked her tea with local honey instead of sugar, so he grabbed that as well. He pulled two mugs from another cabinet and prepared each cup with the tea filled infuser and a dollop of honey. He put the water on to boil and waited. He couldn't believe the way this night had ended up. He couldn't believe Mac was accused of murder. And he really couldn't believe she was married. He thought back to that night in the mountains when they talked by the fire about Eddie and the car crash. He knew so much about her – he knew of her troubled family, he knew about her alcoholism. Why had she not told him she was married? The kettle began to whistle and pulled him back to the present. He turned the burner off and poured water into each cup. He gently carried them to the living room and sat them on the coffee table when he heard the water turn off. A few minutes later Mac emerged. She was in navy silk pajamas and her wet hair had been brushed back.

Mac walked over to the sofa and sat nest to him, pulling her legs up. She accepted the tea from him and breathed in the scent. Peppermint was her favorite. She blew on it for a minute and then took a sip. "Thank you." She looked at him and gave him a feeble smile. "And not just for the tea."

"You're welcome. Are you ready to talk?"

"I don't want to talk about what happened tonight."

He was a little relieved about that. As her friend, he obviously wanted to know. But he was going to push Chegwidden to allow him to defend her, and as her lawyer he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to know. "Okay. So. You're married?"

"Technically, yes." She winced. "Although, I guess now I'm a widow."

"Why didn't you tell me you were married?"

She cupped the warm mug in both hands and stared at the liquid. "I don't know. I was embarrassed, I guess. I was drunk when I married him. We were both drunk for most of the very short marriage. And then we went to jail for armed robbery and not long after that I started turning my life around."

"Why didn't you ever get a divorce?" He asked, his voice gentle.

She shrugged. "I tried once, while he was in jail. Right after I had sobered up, I sent him papers in prison, but he refused to sign them. Everything started happening so fast after that. I figured I'd try again someday, when more time had passed. I just never did." Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly swiped at her face. "Thank you for your help tonight, Harm. I appreciate it so much. But I really don't want to talk about this right now. Any of this. Talking about it makes me imagine the look of disappointment on the Admiral's face. And the ramifications to my career. Not to mention if I end up serving time for this. I just want to not talk about it for one more night. I'll talk about it tomorrow when everyone knows and they're no way to get around talking about it."

Harm nodded. He understood where she was coming from. He knew tomorrow everyone in her life would look at her a little differently. He reached over and squeezed her knee. "Okay. I guess I'll head home. You need to get some sleep."

Mac looked at his hand, and then back up to his face. "Harm, what's going on with you and Bobbi?"

He winced and pulled his hand back. "Nothing. Not really. We flirted, got together a couple of times. But there wasn't really anything there. She's been calling, but I don't know how to tell her that there isn't anything there without coming across as an ass."

She nodded and bit her lower lip. This was so incredibly awkward. She had no problem giving herself to him when he asked, but she had no idea how to ask him to return the favor. She took a deep breath and decided just to go for it. She placed one hand on his thigh and leaned in to kiss him.

Harm returned the kiss for a minute and then pulled back. He knew what the kiss meant and thought back to the hotel room in Russia where he had done the same thing. "Are you sure?"

"If you were just with someone, I'd like you to use a condom. But yes, I'm sure." She watched as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a condom. He threw the wallet on the coffee table and leaned back into her. He cupped he face and kissed her again. The kiss continued for a minute before they broke apart, stood up, and he wordlessly followed her to the bedroom.

* * *

He dropped the condom on the nightstand and pulled her to him. He began to unbutton her pajama top and pushed it off her shoulders. He hardened instantly as he brushed his fingers over her nipples and then lowered his hands to untie the drawstring on the matching bottoms. They fell to the floor and she was left standing there in pale pink panties. She reached out to the hem of his shirt, but he swatted her hand away. This was for her. He looped his fingers in the side of her panties and tugged them down. When they had joined the pajamas, he nudged her towards the bed.

Once she was on her back with her legs opened to him, he lowered himself and clutched the back of her thighs before introducing his tongue to her. She gasped and arched off the bed at the first contact, but he held her legs tighter and continued to lick. After a few minutes of long strokes and tiny circular movements, she had begun to plead for him. He stood up and quickly rid himself of his clothing. He reached for the condom and once it was on, he hovered over her for a minute before sliding in. She gasped and grabbed at him, pulling him in deeper. He groaned and began to thrust. She had been close before and came fast and hard. He slowed while she rode out her orgasm and then regained his momentum. The condom extended things long enough for a second orgasm to begin building for her. He could tell when she was close, so he quickened his pace and began thrusting harder. He wanted to finish with her. She gasped, arched again, called out his name and he was done. His body stiffened as he came, and then he collapsed on top of her.

Harm lay there for a moment, then conscious of his weight on her smaller body, he rolled off. He looked over at her and smiled. She was still on her back, trying to steady her breathing, with her eyes closed and one arm thrown over her head.

She felt his eyes on her. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

He laughed. "The pleasure was all mine." He pulled the condom off and grimaced. "I'm going to get cleaned up."

Mac watched him walk away and pulled herself up. She put her clothes back on, pulled the covers down and then climbed back in bed. A quick glance at the clock on the bedside table revealed how late it was. She pulled the duvet to her chin and stared at the ceiling. She was so afraid of everything that was coming tomorrow. She was so tired of having her unsavory past constantly come back to bite her in the ass. She was so tired of fighting tooth and nail for everything she had. The bathroom door opened, and Mac turned and saw Harm coming back into the bedroom. He pulled on the boxers he had been wearing and surprised her by climbing into the bed next to her. "Harm, what are-"

He got back up to turn the light off, then returned to the bed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "If you want me to leave, I will. But I want to be there for you like you were for me. And sleeping next to you that night helped a lot."

Tears filled her eyes and she placed her hands on his arms. "Thank you."

"Anytime Mac." He leaned up a bit to kiss her cheek and then fell back into the pillow. He listened to her breathing even out, and once he felt sure she was asleep he let himself fall. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

**End Part 3.**


	4. Chapter 4

It Started in Russia

Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other.

Spoilers: This is set during Webb of Lies (Season 4, episode 14).

Notes: And now things start to get complicated because Jordan is now on the scene.

**Part 4**

_M: Harm, I'm staying here tonight._

_H: Mac, I'm a big boy. I don't need to be protected but thank you. Besides, if Palmer wanted me dead, he's been out almost a year. He would've made a move by now, right? _

_M: Yeah, I know, but it would make me feel better. I'll sleep on the couch and I promise I won't snore, okay?_

_-Webb of Lies_

Mac walked away and he stood frozen in place. Months ago he would have insisted that she stay at his apartment during a situation like this one. Now the thought of her sleeping over made him more uncomfortable than he cared to admit. It had been months since her husband's death and the last time they had shared a bed. Jordan coming into his life when she did had been nothing short of a miracle, because he didn't think he would have been able to stay away from Mac otherwise. They had only had sex twice and while neither time was mind blowing, he could see that it had the potential to be. The first time he barely remembered. He had been so distraught and tired and had come entirely too quickly. Not being able to satisfy her was likely why things had been able to return to normal between them so quickly.

Then her husband was killed, he spent the night with her again, and things were different. This time it was she that needed that release, and he was happy to oblige. And now almost two months later he still felt uneasy around her. This time she had come twice, and he wasn't able to stop thinking about her. He was thinking about her in a way that he shouldn't. He kept fantasizing about how sex with her would be if it hadn't come from a need for comfort, and instead out of passion. He saw her nearly every single day, and nearly every single day he thought about what she looked like out of her uniform. He thought about her full breasts and long shapely legs. He thought about the way she gasped when he entered her. And most unsettling of all? He thought about how it felt to just sleep with her against his chest and with his arms around her.

And now she was spending the night in his apartment. Fuck.

"Harm?" He snapped out of his thoughts and saw her looking at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

Harm nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired. It's been a hell of day."

"I know." She looked over at the couch and then around the apartment. "Do you have something I can sleep in? And an extra blanket and pillow for the couch?"

"Sure." He went into his bedroom and sighed as she followed him. He directed her to the small linen closet while he dug around for the largest sweatshirt and pair of sweatpants that he owned and handed them to her. Once she had a spare blanket, he handed her the clothes and an extra pillow from his bed. "Do you want to use the bathroom first?"

"Sure, thanks." He watched her set the blanket and pillow on the edge of the bed and disappear into the bathroom. He started out of the room to give her more privacy and then called out that there was a new toothbrush in his toiletry kit.

He sat uneasily on the couch and waited.

* * *

Mac sat the gun pieces in her lap and waited for her hands to stop trembling. She now realized that staying over had been an especially bad idea. Possibly one of the worst she had ever had, right after marrying Chris and becoming a teenage alcoholic. She had slept on his sofa before, and he had slept on hers, but this was the first time since they had crossed that line, and now he was more intoxicating and desirable than vodka had ever been. She had to get stronger. Like she was when they first met. Before she knew what it was like to have someone like him in her life.

The biggest problem with Harm was his damned savior complex. When she was scared or vulnerable, he would always cup her face and tell her everything would be okay. Before all of this she found it sweet. And it did usually make her feel better. But now it aroused her. Every single touch aroused her. Every single time his fucking hand brushed hers while sitting around a conference table she was instantly aroused. So of course, his hand on her face and just his nearness while comforting her left her wet and frustrated. Hence taking apart and cleaning his weapon. If only she could just make her hands stop trembling long enough to actually do it.

* * *

Harm couldn't get back to sleep. It wasn't because she was being loud in the living room – she wasn't. He couldn't hear anything coming from the other room. He was just so damned aware of her presence. Giving her his baggiest to sweats to sleep in had accomplished absolutely nothing. If anything it had done the exact opposite of what he had intended. They were supposed to mask her beauty a bit, but apparently that was impossible. Now on top of being incredibly beautiful, she also looked small and vulnerable. And all he wanted to do was to wrap his arms around her and keep her safe.

He propped himself up on his elbows and watched her for a minute. She sat cross-legged on his sofa, the blanket still draped over her shoulders, and fidgeted with his gun. He sighed and fell back to the bed. He had no idea why he was having such an issue with this. Yes, she was beautiful. But he had been with his fair share of beautiful women. She was brilliant, but that was nothing new to him. Jordan was incredibly smart, and Bobbi even smarter. She had the most wonderful, perverse sense of humor. She was nurturing and unfailingly kind. Again, nothing new to him. So why her? Why could he not stop thinking about her? He finally gave up on the pretense of sleep and got out of bed. He found another pair of sweat pants and pulled them on, along with a t-shirt. He padded barefoot into the living room. He smiled at her as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not keeping you awake am I?"

He sat down next to her on the sofa. "Actually, yes."

She winced and sat the gun down. "I'm sorry."

"It's not the gun." He tugged at her blanket cape and used part of it to cover his legs up. "Mac, I can't stop thinking about you. And what we've become to each other over the past few months." Even in the dark he could see her blush. "I'm not just talking about the sex, although I'm sure that hasn't helped."

Mac let out a bark of laughter. "I had a friend with benefits at Duke. I didn't really like him. We went on one date, and it was terrible. But it had been a while, and one thing lead to another and we ended up having pretty decent sex. So, we never went on a date again, but when ever one of us needed someone, or just needed to have sex, we called. It was uncomplicated. I was so naive to think it could be that way with you."

He smiled. "We actually like each other."

She nodded. "You're my best friend."

Harm plucked at the blanket. "So how do we stop these feelings?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. No more sex is probably a good place to start."

"The problem with that is that it hasn't been planned. It's just happened."

Mac sighed and leaned back. "I know. And if it weren't for Jordan it probably would have happened again tonight."

"Yeah." The mention of his girlfriend should have done something to him. Jordan's name should have made him hurry back into his bedroom and put all thoughts of his partner out of his head, but it didn't. Maybe it was because he had only been seeing Jordan for a month or so, and they weren't really serious yet. They hadn't talked about where their relationship was going, and he had no desire to. They had fun together, and he enjoyed being with her, but he also didn't see it being a forever kind of thing. Regardless of the why, the mention of Jordan didn't make him feel guilty, as much as he wished it did. "Do you want it to happen tonight?"

Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes locked on his. "Harm, we can't."

He nodded. She sounded as unconvinced as he felt. "I know. I know we can't. But do you want it to?"

Mac looked away. Once she had put the gun on the table she had pulled the pillow into her lap. She hugged it to her and looked back up at him. "Yes."

Her voice was quiet, but there was no uncertainty. He knew she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He leaned forward, placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her face to his. His lips met hers and her mouth instantly opened to his. Her mouth was so soft under his and he gently nipped at her lower lip before letting his tongue dart into her mouth and his hands slip underneath her sweatshirt. She moaned and returned his kiss for a minute, and then she was putting her hands between them and pushing against his chest. They broke apart and both took in a few ragged breaths.

"We can't do this, Harm."

"Mac-"

She shook her head. "No. You have a girlfriend. People are still talking about me. I walk into a room and people go quiet. I'm going to be the adulteress who had an affair with her commanding officer for God knows how long. I'm not going to become the other woman on top of that."

"Mac-"

"Harm, please don't make this harder than it needs to be." Her eyes filled with tears and she lowered her head and tried to blink them away. One fell down her cheek and a small piece of his heart broke.

"I'm sorry, Mac." He bent over and kissed the tear track on her cheek. "You're right. We shouldn't do this. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She whispered. She watched as he lay down on the couch and pulled her down on top of him.

"Get some sleep, Mac. We could both use some." He waited for her to refuse. To get up, grab her things and leave. But she didn't. She grabbed the pillow and offered it to him, and they rearranged the blanket so that it covered both of them. Once they were settled he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

**End Part 4.**

Since this popped into my head, I've been so torn about how this thing between them should go once Jordan enters the picture. I don't think that Harm is the cheating type when he's seriously involved (i.e. Renee), but I think he can be a bit more relaxed if the relationship isn't really going anywhere. In 'The Stalker' he was flirting pretty heavily with Francesca despite telling her he was "sort of involved with someone" (Annie). And even though he was seriously involved with Renee, that was a pretty intense kiss with Mac in Lifeline. So, I could kind of see him hooking up with Mac while he was with Jordan. Anyways. Just my two cents.


	5. Chapter 5

It Started in Russia

Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other.

Spoilers: This is set during The Adversaries (Season 4, episode 19).

Notes: If you've read any of my other stories, you know that I like to give these characters friends outside of their military bubble, hence the introduction of Mac's friend Madeline.

**Part 5**

_Carolyn: So, Jordan, what's he like? _

_Jordan: Harm? He's a nice guy. Intelligent, he's funny, and a good cook._

_Carolyn: No. I mean, what's he like? You know._

_Jordan: Well, what would you say? _

_Mac: Me? Don't ask me. We never…_

_Carolyn: Oh, come on. Don't give us that._

_Mac: No, it's the truth._

_Carolyn: All that time you've been together, Japan, Russia, the desert._

_Mac: Nothing happened. Jordan, you believe me, don't you? _

_Jordan: Oh, of course, dear._

_Mac: You two are bad. So, what is he like?  
-The Adversaries_

Mac picked up her purse and headed to the restroom. She had never been so happy that the bathrooms at McMurphy's were those single room bathrooms. She went inside and locked the door behind her, thankful for a few minutes of solitude. "I have to get out of here," she muttered to herself. The conversation with Jordan and Carolyn was torture. And then the game of darts with Jordan. Jesus Christ. Why was every single woman he dated an insecure, neurotic mess? She leaned on the sink and studied herself in the mirror. She needed to get out of this bar and away from these people.

Things had been pretty tense between her and Harm since the night she had slept over at his apartment. She didn't think he was petty enough to turn into a total dick just because she turned him down, but she did think he was deliberately distancing himself from her. She leaned onto the porcelain pedestal sink and studied herself in the mirror. She was flushed from the interaction with Jordan. She had initially liked her, but now liked her less and less every time they were together. She took a few deep breaths and straightened. "Okay. I'm good," she told her reflection. She was going to find Bud and Harriet, say a quick goodbye, and then get the hell out of this place.

Mac washed her hands, took one last look at her reflection and opened the bathroom door. And she walked directly into Harm.

"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered. His hands had went to her waist to steady her and then dropped once he realized who he was holding.

He took a step back and they both attempted to regain their composure. "Hey."

She raised an eyebrow at the pathetic greeting – the first word he had spoken to her all evening. "Hi." They stood in awkward silence for a moment, then she cleared her throat. "Well, I'll get out of your way." She started to walk away and stopped when he reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"What's going on, Mac? I feel like you're avoiding me."

Her eyes widened. "Funny, I've been feeling the same way." She waited for him to drop her wrists, but he didn't. She gently tugged away.

He leaned against the wall and looked at her. "I have to ask. What were you three laughing about earlier?"

Mac blushed and looked away. "Well. Carolyn was asking Jordan how you are… sexually." She was a little pleased when she saw him wince. "Don't worry. She was very complimentary." He blushed this time and she smiled. "They asked me how I thought you were. Both assumed that we'd been together."

His blush deepened and he stepped a bit closer to her and when he spoke his voice was low and intimate. "What did you say?"

His nearness was overwhelming her, and she took a step away from him. "Total denial, of course. What's happened between us should stay between us." She felt warmness flood through her as she thought about the things that had happened between them. And he was looking at her like he was thinking the same thing. "Have you been avoiding me?"

He nodded. "Yes. But not because I'm mad or trying to be an ass. I need to stay away from you right now. At least until I get myself under control."

Relief pooled through her and she nodded. "I know."

"Do you?" He took another step closer. "I have zero control over myself when I'm this close to you. But here's the crazy part. I don't want to be in control. I want to kiss you. I need to kiss you." He watched as her eyes darkened with desire and her lips parted slightly, and he leaned in. The kiss was passionate and intense, and he pulled her closer to him. After a minute, when oxygen became a necessity, they parted.

"We can't do this here, someone could see us." The hallway the bathroom was in was dark and tucked away, but this was dangerous. She knew they were playing with fire, but she couldn't help herself. Listening to Jordan talk about him as a lover was a special kind of torture.

Harm felt around for the knob to the bathroom door and opened it. He pushed her inside, shutting and locking the door behind them. She gasped as he pushed her against the closed door and moved his lips to her neck. "You're so beautiful," he whispered into her skin. His hands found his way under her shirt and skimmed over the edge of her bra. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone."

She ran her hands down his body, stopping at the button to his jeans. She unbuttoned them quickly and reached into the holt at the front of his boxers to free his impressive erection. She closed her hand around him and watched as he closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. She had begun to stroke him and when he had finally regained his composure, he pulled her skirt up, pushed her damp panties down and inserted one finger into her. She began to moan, which he quickly swallowed up with a kiss. "Harm, are you sure?"

"God, yes." He pulled a condom out of his wallet before pushing his jeans and his boxers down. He tore open the wrapper and slid it on. His lips were on hers and he was lifting her off the ground when someone knocked on the door. They flew apart and Mac covered her mouth with her hand. The person knocked again, and this time Harm called out that he'd be another minute.

"Oh my God," she whispered. If the thought of getting caught hadn't been so terrifying, she would have laughed. Harm as white as a ghost with his pants around his ankles and a rapidly softening penis.

"It'll be okay," he mouthed. He pulled off the condom, crumpled it in few paper towels and threw it in the trash. He quickly pulled up his pants as she pulled up her panties and straightened her clothes. Harm watched her frantically try to smooth her hair with her fingertips and then dig around in her purse for a tube of lipstick. Once they were both presentable, he put his hand on the knob. "I'm going to see if the coast is clear." She nodded and waited. He opened the door, took a quick peak, then looked at her and nodded. "I'll go first." She nodded again and waited for him to leave.

Once she was alone, she sat down on the toilet and tried to regulate her breathing. She'd wait a few more minutes. The person who knocked had likely gone to the second bathroom upstairs, so she took her time. When she felt normal again, she stood up, smoothed her clothes, checked her appearance and left the bathroom. Back in the bar she quickly found Harriet and Bud and said her goodbyes. She was on her way out when she spotted Harm alone at the bar, and she approached him. "I'm going home," she said softly. "Can I ask you a favor?"

He stood and nodded. "Of course, anything."

She looked around to see if anyone was listening and then back to him. "Please don't sleep with Jordan tonight."

"I won't. I couldn't possibly."

"Thank you." She touched his arm, needing one more moment of contact. "I'll see you Monday."

* * *

Mac had just shut her apartment door behind her when her cell phone rang. She didn't want to answer it. She wanted to crawl into bed and spend about five hours with her battery-operated substitute. The ringing stopped and she started towards her bedroom and the phone rang again. She groaned and answered.

"Hey, it's Madeline. I just got to McMurphy's and your sexy Commander told me you've already called it a night. Where the hell are you?"

Mac closed her eyes and swore under her breath. "I'm so sorry, Maddie. I wasn't feeling it and I completely forgot I told you to come. I'm at my apartment right now."

"Okay. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

"Maddie- "

Deal with it, Mac. I haven't seen you in ages. We're going to at least have a coffee."

"Sure. Want me to meet you somewhere, or do you want to come have coffee and brownies here?"

"Brownies? Your famous salted caramel brownies?"

"Of course. Are there any other brownies? I'm hanging up now so I can make coffee and heat up the brownies. See you soon." They disconnected and Mac abandoned her thoughts of her bed and her vibrator, and headed to the kitchen.

Less than twenty minutes later there was a gentle knock on the door. Mac opened the door to her friend and greeted her with a warm smile. She and Madeline were as outwardly different as two people could possibly be. Madeline Lowery was a petite red head with beautiful pale skin and huge green eyes. Mac held the door open for her. Madeline walked in, tossed her purse on the entry table and gave her friend a kiss on the cheek. They fixed plates with warm brownies and drippy caramel sauce and poured cups of coffee. Mac grabbed a few napkins and two forks, followed Madeline to the living room and settled in on the sofa. She pulled her legs up and balanced the plate on her folded legs.

Madeline took a bite of the brownie and studied Mac. Something about her was different. She took another bite and then sipped the coffee. "So… what's going on, Mac?"

Mac took and deep breath and sat the plate on the coffee table. She turned to Madeline, and grabbed a throw pillow to clutch in her lap. "I slept with Harm." The bite of brownie froze in mid-air. Madeline stared at her in shock. Her eyes were huge and her mouth formed a perfect 'o'. Mac reached over and took the fork out of her hand and placed it on the plate. "Maddie?"

Madeline sat her plate next to Mac's. "Are you serious? When did this happen?"

"The first time happened when we were in Russia in May. The second time was a couple of months ago."

"I can't believe this. Why didn't you tell me?"

Mac sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. At the beginning there wasn't really anything to tell. We were in Russia and he had just found out about his father and was completely devastated. He needed comfort, and I gave it to him."

"Oh Mac…"

"The second time was after all that stuff with my husband happened. This time I was looking for comfort and he delivered." Mac picked at the pom pom trim on the pillow edge and looked up at Madeline. "And now there is stuff to tell, and I have no idea what to do."

Madeline kicked off her shoes and pulled her feet up on the sofa and crossed her legs. "Mac," she said gently, "what do you mean that there is now stuff to tell? Isn't he still seeing the shrink? I was pretty sure I saw her at the bar."

She nodded. "They're still together. We've had a couple of moments since they've been together, including tonight when we were about half a second away from having sex in the bathroom at the bar." She tried to avoid looking at her friend but after about 30 seconds of total silence. She looked up at Madeline and bit her lip. "It wasn't my proudest moment."

"What happened in that half a second?"

"Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Once we both escaped, I got the hell out of there."

Madeline couldn't believe what she was hearing. "This isn't healthy. You're going to end up so hurt."

She signed and leaned back. "I know. It hurt tonight. I was sitting at a table with Jordan and Carolyn. I sat there and listened to her talking about what a wonderful lover Harm is. Then I had to listen to her say that sometimes she thought they'd last forever, and sometimes she thought they'd be together until I decided I wanted him. Then I disappeared to the bathroom and when I came out, I literally ran into Harm. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were back in the bathroom with him pressing me into the door, pants and underwear on the floor and condoms."

"Jesus Christ, Mac." Madeline shot off the couch and paced for a minute before sitting again. "He has a girlfriend. There is no way this can end well for any of you."

"I know." There was another knock on the door. She closed her eyes for a moment before going to answer it. She pulled the door open and found Harm standing there. "Harm. What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"What's going on."

"I broke up with Jordan. And we need to talk."

**End Part 5.**

_I have something I need to announce: I would absolutely have had sex with Harm in a bar bathroom. Thank you._


	6. Chapter 6

_It Started in Russia_

_Author: PreppyPrincess5103_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

_Summary: Some friends will do anything for each other._

**Part 6**

_Earlier that evening… _

Harm watched Mac leave the bar and took another sip of his bourbon. He had been trying to avoid Mac for the better part of two months. And any progress he had made concerning his feelings for her had just blown up in about ten minutes.

"Hey there sailor." Jordan approached him, placing her hand on his chest and leaning in for a kiss. "I've barely seen you all night."

He grimaced. "Sorry about that. It's been a weird night." Harm pushed the drink away and looked at her. She was beautiful and a lot of fun to be with, and he did care for her. But he couldn't do this to her or himself any more. Not when all he wanted in the world was to be with Mac. "Jordan, we need to talk."

She pulled her hand away like she had been burned. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

Harm nodded. "Yes," he said softly. "I'm so sorry Jordan."

She forced back her tears and straightened on her stool. "Is it because of her?"

He looked back at his drink. He didn't need to ask which 'her' she was referring to. He wouldn't tell her about what had just happened in the bathroom or the extent of his feelings for Mac, but he knew he had to be as honest with her as he could. "It's not what you're thinking, Jordan. She and I haven't been seeing each other, but I have feelings for her and no matter what I've done, or how much I avoid her I can't get them to go away."

One of the tears fell and she wiped it away. "How long have you had feelings for her?"

"A few months now."

"Are you sure about this Harm? I mean, she told me earlier tonight that she has sworn off men and is basically a nun these days. Maybe she doesn't feel the same way."

"I know. She's had one hell of a year when it comes to men. And if even if she doesn't feel the same way I still need to do this. It's not fair for me to be with anyone else when I can't stop thinking about her."

Jordan studied him. As upset as she was over the end of a relationship, she had high hopes for, the part of her who had spent her entire adult life studying people was fascinated. "Why has she sworn off men?"

He took another sip. "It started last spring when the man she had been seeing for a while was killed. They had just broken up, and a police detective who was stalking her murdered him. He died in Mac's arms."

She gasped and her mouth fell slightly open. "Oh, that's horrible."

"It got worse this past fall. Her estranged husband re-appeared in her life and she shot him in self-defense. That resulted in her dirty laundry being aired for everyone to see, disciplinary action and an Article 32 hearing."

Jordan let out a low whistle. "Wow. I understand why she's taking a break from men for a while. So why go to her now? When you know she needs time and space, I mean. What if she shoots you down? Maybe this isn't even about having feelings for her. Maybe it's your hero complex. Maybe you were looking for something to fill a void after finally finding out what happened to your father and since she was there you started looking to her. Maybe we just need to spend more time together and get to know one another better. We could have something great, Harm. Why throw that away for a woman who might not even want you?"

He offered her a sad smile. He really hated himself for doing this to her. "Jordan, you deserve so much more than what I can offer you, and you know that. And part of me hopes that she does. That part hopes she tells me that she needs some time and takes all the time she needs. If she wants me to wait, I'll wait."

"You're not just interested in her," she suddenly realized, "you're completely in love with her."

Harm nodded. "I am. I'm so sorry, Jordan. I promise you, I never meant for this to happen."

She offered a sad smile. "I know. I have to say that I sort of expected this. I even told her tonight that part of me only thought you and I would last until she decided she wanted you."

He turned quickly to her. "What?"

"A person would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to realize that there is more between the two of than simple friendship, Harm. She is so much bigger in your world than you realize. I've never been all that comfortable around her, and especially not the two of you together. And now I understand why." She stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck, Harm." She straightened her shoulders and headed out of the bar.

* * *

When Jordan was gone, Harm quickly settled his tab, said his goodbyes to Bud and Harriett, and hurried his car. He had to see her tonight. The drive across town didn't take nearly as long as it usually did. The roads were abnormally quiet for a Friday night. Once he was in her neighborhood, he even managed to snag an excellent parking spot. He hurried inside and knocked lightly on the door. He waited for a minute and was about to knock again when the door opened. She was still in the clothes she wore earlier and looked tired but still beautiful.

"Harm. What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "I just broke up with Jordan. And we need to talk." He watched as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open a bit. "Can I come in?"

She looked over her shoulder. Madeline had stood and was heading towards them. "Harm, now isn't the best time. I have company."

Madeline kissed her on the cheek and grabbed her purse. "Don't worry about it, Mac. I need to be heading home anyway. I'm on call tomorrow and could really use some sleep." She squeezed her arm. "I'll call you tomorrow." She smiled as Mac nodded and then she directed her attention to Harm. This man was entirely too good-looking. Her mother had always warned her about dating a man who was too good-looking. "Harm," she said, a touch of chilliness in her voice, "it's nice to see you."

He tore his eyes away from Mac to smile at her. "You too, Maddie." He stepped out of the way so she could leave, and then shut the door behind her. "I'm sorry, Mac. I didn't know you had company."

She shrugged. "It's fine. I had invited her to McMurphy's tonight but left so quickly and I forgot to call her. So, she came here. We were having dessert and coffee. I have some brownies left if you'd like one. They're the really good ones, that are so fudgy they almost seem like they're not cooked all the way through, and I have this incredible caramel sauce to drizzle over them. And if you finish them with a sprinkle of salt-" She trailed off as he placed his fingers on her lips.

"You don't need to be nervous. It's just me."

She scoffed. "Just you. The man I nearly had sex in a bathroom with an hour ago. The man who just told me that he and his girlfriend just broke up. There is no 'just you' right now, Harm." She made her way back to the living room and reclaimed her spot on the sofa. "So, what happened with you and Jordan?"

He looked at her and felt more nervous than he ever had in his life. The cool greeting from Madeline made him think they had been talking about him. He felt anxious, worried, and completely terrified. "I told her that I can't see her anymore because I have feelings for someone else. It wasn't fair to any of us to be with her when I want to be with someone else."

"Harm," she started, "You shouldn't have done that. I'm not… I'm not ready… I- "

"I know, Mac. I know you're scared. I know you've had a horrible year when it comes to men. I get why you're hesitant. But this thing between us isn't going away. It just keeps getting stronger. Can't you feel it?"

Mac nodded. "I can feel it, Harm. It's almost overwhelming. Which is why I can't go there with you. Not right now, anyway."

He picked up her hand. "Why? I can help you get through everything. I can make you happy, I know I can."

She took her other hand and cupped his cheek. "I know you can too. You're an incredible man. I know that you and I together would be amazing. And challenging, seeing as how we're both incredibly stubborn. And it would be a lot of fun. But Harm, I need to be happy on my own before I can truly be happy with anyone else."

He squeezed her fingers and nodded. "I understand."

She cocked her head to the side and studied him. "Do you really?"

Harm smiled. "I do. My grandmother has a needlepoint pillow with a similar sentiment. She used to tell me that all the time." The memory of his grandmother's home warmed him, and he made a mental note to plan a visit soon. Her hand was still on his face and he placed his other hand over hers. "Mac, I'm not going anywhere. If you need time, that's fine. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes widened and she dropped her hand from his face. "Harm, I can't ask you to do that – to wait. I'm a mess right now, I don't know when I'll be ready."

He shrugged. "Mac, what we have is real. It's not going anywhere. If you don't want a relationship, that's fine. But I'm still here. You're worth waiting for."

Tears filled her eyes and she sniffled as she tried to hold them back. "Thank you, Harm." She leaned towards him a bit and then looked up. "Will I be sending a mixed signal if I kiss you?"

He laughed and put his hand on her waist. He pulled her into him and brushed him mouth against hers. Her lips parted under his and his tongue snuck in, and he moaned into her mouth. She tasted of caramel and chocolate, and he wanted to devour her. He kept one hand on her waist and moved the other to her head. His fingers threaded through her hair, and he held her closer to him. He finally pulled away and took a few breaths before immediately pressing his lips to her neck and then to her bare shoulders.

She moaned and tilted her head back, enjoying his lips against her skin so, so much. "Harm, I-"

He pulled away from her and smiled. "This doesn't have to mean anything Mac. Just two friends who need a release."

Mac barked out a laugh which quickly turned into another moan as he continued kissing her neck. This time she pulled away and put her hands on his chest. Her smile was playful, and she fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt. "Should we go to the bathroom and continue what we started earlier? Or should we start over in my bedroom?"

He took her hands in his, pushed them up so her arms were over her head and then nudged her into a laying position on the sofa. "We should definitely start over." He lifted her shirt up little by little, placing soft open-mouthed kisses on her warm skin. He smiled as she shivered as the air cooled the spots. After what seemed like twenty years, he reached her breasts. She sat up and pulled her top off before sinking back down into the cushions. He traced the edge of the impossibly sheer white bra before popping open the front clasp. He bent over and took a nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked, and nipped with his teeth, before turning his attention to the other. She writhed uncomfortably and reached for him.

Mac sat up, removed the bra completely and then moved her hands to the button on his jeans. He nearly came the second her hand wrapped around him.

"Mac, I'm not going to last long tonight." He said in a hoarse whisper.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Harm, I was on my way to spend some quality time with my vibrator when Maddie called. I'm not going to last long either." She could have sworn he hardened a bit more when she said that. She lightly stroked him and smiled as his head tilted back and his hands clenched into fists on either side of him. "Put on a condom and make both of us come."

He stood up and removed his clothing, grabbing the last condom from his wallet before tossing it aside. He rolled it on and watched Mac unzip her skirt and let it fall to the ground, the panties joining it. She reached out for his hand. He took it, but instead of following her to the bedroom, he sat on the sofa and pulled her on top of him. She straddled him, her legs bent at the knee. He directed himself into her and she sunk down. They both moaned and began thrusting. It wasn't long before she was clinging to him and biting his shoulder, and he was holding her as tight as humanly possible as he moved faster and faster.

* * *

They had fallen back on the sofa when they had both finished. She winced as she noticed her teeth marks in his shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind. He pulled her closer and she cuddled up to him and lay her head against his chest.

"That was nice," she said teasingly.

He pinched her lightly. "Hmph. Judging by the chunk of skin you took out of my shoulder, it was a bit more than nice."

She lifted her head of and smiled. "Definitely more than nice." Her head fell back to his chest. "Harm, we have to stop doing this."

He sighed and stroked her arm. "I know. It's one thing when we're just friends wanting to help one another out. But we're not just friends anymore."

"We're not." She confirmed. "Harm, I really don't know when I'm going to be ready."

He nudged her and they both sat up. He took her face in both of his hands. "Mac, you are worth waiting for. I know you've had bad experiences with men. I know you're nervous about this. Just our jobs and friends make this more complicated. But it will all be okay. Whenever you're ready, just let me know. I'll be here."

"Harm-"

He kissed her lightly. "I'm here, Mac. Take all the time you need."

**End Part 6.**

Will Harm get his eyes fixed? Will he leave JAG and go back to flying? Where does this leave Mic Fucking Brumby? Tune in next time!


	7. Chapter 7

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: A commenter mentioned that Harm talking about Mac's issues with Jordan didn't sit quite right with them, & part of me completely agrees with that. I initially had wanted Harm to casually mention the shooting and Jordan was going to respond that she remembered seeing something about that in the paper. But I remembered that had happened months earlier and I'm sure there are a lot of shootings in DC so it's not super realistic for that one shooting to stand out. Anyways. I wanted Harm to talk about Mac to Jordan for a couple reasons. One, he really feels bad about hurting Jordan & two, because *my* Harm is not only protective of Mac, but he's protective of her reputation (which is why his comment to Sturgis about all the men in her life being dead or wishing they were was such a dick move). My Harm wouldn't want anyone to think Mac was dishonest, so he told Jordan enough about the past year to make sure she knew that Mac really was swearing off men for a while, but he was careful not to tell anything that would make paint her in a negative light (i.e. the affair with Farrow). That's just the way I see it =)

**Note part 2**: This takes place the day after Mac's father died. The doctor told Harm his eyes would be okay in about 12 hours, so he should be fine driving.

**Part 7**

Mac sat at the bar at McMurphy's, her tonic water with lime and her father's wallet sitting on the bar in front of her. She felt like the biggest masochist on the planet at the moment. She needed to prove to herself that she could sit in this bar, facing all the neatly lined up bottles of vodka, and the memory of her father without having a drink. She took out the newspaper clippings and smoothed each one out. She couldn't believe he had saved these. She couldn't believe he had wanted to see her before he died. She couldn't believe that she had left the hospice having finally forgiven her parents. She refolded the clippings and put them back in the wallet. Next, she pulled out each form of identification. There was a California driver's license and his veterans ID card. She ran her fingertips over the photograph of the man she remembered. She replaced the cards and turned the wallet over and over in her hands a few times.

She was staring the worn leather when someone sat down on the stool next to her. She knew who it was without needing to look up. "Hey Harm."

He signaled to the bartender and sat quietly next to her for a minute. "How are you?"

Mac shrugged. "I honestly have no idea." She noticed he watched while she took a sip of her drink. "It's tonic water, Harm."

"I didn't say anything." He smiled as the bartender approached and he ordered whatever was on draft. "Do you mind?"

She gave him a wry smile & shook her head. "I know you didn't ask, but I also know you were wondering." She plucked the lime out of the glass with her fingertips and gave it a squeeze. "My mother was there."

His eyes widened. "What? Wow."

"She's pathetic, Harm. She was worried I would be ashamed that she had gained weight. I don't care about that. I spoke to her. She held me while I cried. And that's when I learned that when she left, she took our dog with her, and she eventually abandoned him too. I'm ashamed of her for that. And I'm ashamed that she completely abandoned her family. Not just her husband and her daughter, but her brother too. She didn't even know about Uncle Matt. Can you believe that? I mean, he's her brother and he stole the fucking Declaration of Independence. It was all over the news. And she didn't know." She stared into her drink, refusing to look at him. "Before I left, I told her that I forgave her. But I don't care to ever see her again."

"You forgave her?" His voice was gentle.

She nodded. "I did. Or I at least began to. I don't know if it's something that can really be accomplished in one afternoon."

"I wish I could have been there with you, Mac. I hate that you had to go through this alone."

Mac took a sip of her drink and rolled her shoulders. Spending this much time on a bar stool was so hard on her back. "I know. But I really was fine. Once I stopped yelling at the priest, he was actually very helpful."

"If everything is fine, why are you here? Alone. Why do you feel the need to test yourself, Mac?

She shrugged again. "Seeing him after all these years just brought back so many memories. I'd be lying if I said I didn't crave a drink right now. I needed to prove to myself that I could resist that craving." She watched him sip his beer and studied him. Something about him was different. "What's going on, Harm?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just worried about you."

She didn't buy it for a second but she nodded and went back to moving the wallet from hand to hand.

* * *

He couldn't tell her about his eyes. Not yet. She was so fragile right now. She looked exhausted and emotionally drained. But he knew that waiting to tell her would make it so much worse. He would be just more more person who had abandoned her. He glanced at his watch. It was late, but he hadn't had dinner yet, and it was a safe assumption that she hadn't either.

"Have you had dinner yet?" She looked back at him, surprised at the innocuous question. She shook her head. He drained the last of his beer and stood up. "Come on. Let's get out of here and get some food." He took some bills out of his wallet and left them on the bar under his empty glass. When she stood, he reached for her hand and tugged her closer. "In the mood for anything in particular?"

She thought for a moment. "How about ramen?"

"Sounds great. Let's ride together. I'll bring you back for your car later."

"Okay. She shoved the wallet into her purse and let him lead her to his car. It wasn't long before they were sitting in front of steaming bowls of ramen – beef for her, red curry for him.

"Have you heard from Jordan?"

Harm nodded. "I have. She stopped by earlier in the week to get some things that she had left at my place."

She used her chopsticks to swirl the noodles around in the bowl and tried to avoid looking at him. "Any regrets on that front?"

"Sarah."

The use of her given name got her attention and she looked up. His eyes were warm and kind and… well, she wasn't ready to deal with everything else she saw in them.

"No regrets. None at all."

She smiled softly and returned to swirling noodles around the bowl before finally taking another bite. They ate in silence for a moment, and then she sat her chopsticks on the edge of the bowl and studied him. "Thank you."

He cocked his head and smiled at her. "You're welcome. What for?"

Mac laughed. "You've been really great lately. I know I've been kind of a mess since everything that happened with Chris. And I just feel really thankful to have you as a friend."

He reached across the table and picked up her hand, threading their fingers together. "You're welcome," he said, rubbing his thumb over her impossibly soft skin. Once he released her hand, he took the opportunity to study her once she went back to her dinner. He wished he had been able to go with her to California. He wished he had the courage to tell her about his procedure. He wished that if the procedure ended up being successful and he regained his flight status that it wouldn't mean leaving her. Would she think he was abandoning her as well? What if she decided she was ready for a relationship while he was halfway around the world? Was regaining his flight status worth losing her? The questions wouldn't stop running through his head.

* * *

They arrived back to the parking lot where Mac had parked her car. He came to a stop behind the car parked beside hers, put his car in park and got out with her. They both walked over to the driver's side door and stopped. She unlocked her car and opened her door.

"Thank you for dinner, Harm. It really hit the spot. The company was pretty wonderful too."

"You're very welcome." He put his hand on the open door and leaned into her. "Would you like to have dinner with me this weekend?"

"I'd love that. Thank you." She offered him her beautiful smile and placed a kiss on his cheek, and then used her thumb to wipe away the smudge left by her lipstick.

Her finger lingered on his face and he smirked. "You know, if you need more comfort than just dinner, I'm more than willing to offer a hand."

She snorted out a laugh and rolled her eyes. "Nice, Rabb."

"Hey, it got you to smile." He let go of the door and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed her in. After a moment he reluctantly let go and dropped his arms. "Will I see you tomorrow, or are you taking leave?"

"I'll be there tomorrow. Goodnight Harm."

"Night Mac." He waited till she was in her car and he heard the doors lock, and then got into his own and they both left the parking lot.

**End Part 7.**


	8. Chapter 8

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: Takes place around the time frame of Yeah, Baby.

**Part 8**

Harm walked into the sports bar and scanned the nearly empty space for the friend he was meeting. He spotted a familiar head of shaggy blonde hair at a table in the corner, laughing at something the very attractive waitress was telling him. Harm grinned and headed in that direction. Benjamin Taylor looked more like a California surfer than the law professor at Georgetown he was, and women seemed to flock to him. He reached the table and greeted his friend. The waitress took a step back and offered him a more toned-down version of the smile Ben had been on the receiving end of.

"What can I get you to drink?"

He shrugged out of his jacket and took the seat across from Ben. "Bourbon, please. Neat." She nodded and smiled at them both as she walked away. Harm watched amused as Ben's eyes tracked her until she was no longer visible, and then turned his attention to Harm. "How's single life these days?" Harm asked with a grin.

Ben barked out a laugh. His long-term girlfriend had ended things several months back with a phone call. He had brooded for a month and now that he had decided to move on, he found he was thoroughly enjoying the single life. "Things are good. I'm enjoying myself, but I also miss having someone that I actually care about. Someone who I look forward to going home to every day." Ben noticed a strange look spread across Harm's face and grinned. "So how is the lovely Major MacKenzie?"

Harm rolled his eyes. "Mac is doing okay. She's had a pretty tough year, but she's the strongest woman I know." He was quiet as their waitress approached and dropped off Harm's drink. She was very pretty. And had red hair like every other woman Ben had ever shown an interest in. Once was finished enjoying the single life and looking for something a bit more serious, he'd have to see about setting him up with Madeline. Harm took a sip of the bourbon and decided just to dive in to what he needed to talk about. "Mac is actually why I asked you to meet me tonight."

"Are you finally going to set me up with her?" Ben teased.

Harm shot him a look and scoffed. "Don't even." He paused, trying to decide on how much he should tell. "I finally told her that I'm interested and want to give us a shot. She's not ready, but I told her that I'll wait for her. I'm in love with her."

Ben cocked his head to the side, a little confused. "When we had drinks last month you were seeing a therapist."

"Yeah, that ended a couple of weeks ago when I realized I couldn't stop thinking about Mac."

He nodded, understanding. "Okay. So, what's the problem? Just wait for her to be ready. I'm pretty sure she's worth it."

"She's absolutely worth it. The problem is that I found out my vision problems were misdiagnosed, had surgery to repair the damage, and have decided to leave JAG and return to flying. I just don't know how to tell her."

Ben looked at him, total shock written all over his face. "Wait, you two work together. How did you manage to have eye surgery without her knowing?"

"It came up while she was in California for her father's funeral. I tried to tell her before she left, but she was so distracted and didn't really want to talk, so I just let it go."

"Harm, that was a dick move. You had a life altering surgery without telling the woman you're supposedly in love with? What the hell, man?"

He groaned and downed his drink. "I know, I know. And this is the problem. How do I tell her? She's going to think I'm abandoning her."

Ben stared at him incredulously, his drink ignored. "Aren't you?"

* * *

Harm stood outside of Mac's door and tried to work up the courage to knock. Part of him wished he had ordered another drink for an extra bit of courage, but he couldn't imagine ever going to see Mac while intoxicated. After another minute he finally found his courage and knocked on her door.

She answered quickly and his face lit up when she opened the door. Her hair was separated into tiny sections and held with tiny plastic butterfly clips, she had sparkles on her eyelids, and tiny red rhinestones made a heart on her cheek. She blushed and held the door open further for him. "I assumed you were Chloe. She literally just left with her stepdad." She walked away from him and returned to the bathroom. She leaned over the sink to get closer to the mirror and began pulling the red stones off of her face.

He followed her to the bathroom and stood in the doorway watching her. He was constantly blown away by how beautiful she was, even when she looked utterly ridiculous. "How much longer before Chloe's real dad comes for her?"

"One more week." She plucked at a stone that was stuck on better than the others and hissed when she finally got it off. "Kyle is going to meet her at JAG before they head to his parent's farm."

"I'm sorry." Harm said softly.

Mac turned her head to him and gave him a slight smile. "I know this is absolutely what's best for her, but I'm really going to miss spending time with her. I know she's a handful, but she's also a really great kid." She turned back to the mirror and plucked off the rest of the stones. She threw them in the trash and then reached for a wash cloth. She turned the faucet on to soak the cloth, and then she rubbed at her eyelids and then over her face for good measure. Finally, she took the clips out of her hair and set them on a shelf in the medicine cabinet, making a mental note to give them back to Chloe. Harm stepped out of the doorway when he saw she was finished, and she flipped off the light and headed towards the couch.

"Can we talk?" He asked as he sat beside her.

"Of course." She tucked her legs beneath her and studied him. "Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?

"What do you mean?"

"Harm, you've seemed different since the night I got back from California. I know something is up, but I just figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

He took a deep breath and studied her. "The day you got the call about your dad - well, I had just come from a doctor's appointment when I found you sitting outside. The doctor told me that my night blindness was an incorrect diagnosis, and he could fix the problem with a minor laser procedure."

She was stunned. Of all the things she had been expecting, that was not even on the list. "Wow." She picked up a throw pillow to hold in her lap. "So, when are you having it done? What does this even mean?" She frowned as he winced. She looked down at her lap, and when she met his eyes again, he was floored by the hurt he saw. "You've already had the procedure done, haven't you?"

"Yes."

Mac bit her lip to keep from crying. She knew what this meant. But she needed to hear him say it.

"It means that there is a chance I can change my designator and return to a fighter squadron."

She threw the pillow to the floor and stood up. She turned her back to him so he couldn't see the tears and she walked over to the window sill. "Why?"

Her voice was a whisper, and it broke his heart. He stood and walked closer to her. "Mac, I joined the military to fly. Being a pilot was all I ever wanted. Being a pilot is who I am."

She turned to face him. "You're more than just a pilot, Harm." She looked away from him and then turned her back on him again. "Have you told the Admiral yet?"

Harm studied their reflections in the glass. Her head was down, and he couldn't see her face. "No, not yet. You needed to be the first person I told." He gently put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Mac, this only changes what I do for work every day. This doesn't change anything between us."

Mac moved away from him and his hands fell back to his sides. "Of course it changes things. It changes everything. You say you want to be with me, that we have something amazing, that you're willing to wait until I'm ready. If you leave, we'll barely ever see each other. How does that not change things?"

He stepped closer and put his hands on her waist this time. "This changes nothing about how I feel about you. Nothing could change that. I won't be gone forever. We can call and email while I'm gone, visit when I'm back. There are plenty of people who make this work."

She shook her head and the tears finally started to fall. "It changes everything, Harm. Everything."

He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. They stood awkwardly for a moment, her hands by her side while he held her. She finally wrapped her arms around him and cried into his chest. He tightened his arms and kissed the top of her head. "This doesn't change how I feel about you, Sarah. I promise you that nothing will ever change that. It's just something I feel like I have to do." Her cries began to subside and she sniffled. He kissed her head again. She lifted her head up and he kissed her forehead and each cheek before finally brushing his lips against hers.

After a minute she pushed him away and took a few deep breaths. "I can't do this, Harm. I can't kiss you, and fall into bed with you, and wake up next to you. I can't fall more and more in love with you if you're going to leave. I'm so tired of having to be strong, and I'm not strong enough for that." She started to walk away and once he had recovered from the shock of hearing those words he went after her and grabbed her hand.

"What did you say?"

She jerked her hand out of his. "What?"

"You said you love me."

Mac bit her bottom lip. She couldn't believe she had actually said the words. "I believe I said I can't fall more and more in love with you. I never said, 'I love you'."

He rolled his eyes. "Semantics, Mac. By saying that you can't fall more and more in love with me, you're saying that you're already in love with me."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged, completely heartbroken and dejected. "It's not like it matters, Harm. Yes, I am in love with you. And just like everyone else I've ever loved, you're leaving me." She rubbed her face and started towards her bedroom. "Go home, Harm. I can't do this right now." She went into her room and shut the door behind her, leaving him standing alone in the living room.

"That went well." He muttered.

**End Part 8**


	9. Chapter 9

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: Takes place around the time frame of Yeah, Baby. Also, lets all pretend that the fashion of the late 90's is the same as it is today.

**Part 9**

Harm walked out of Admiral Chegwidden's office and let out the longest sigh of his life. It was done. He would wait and tell everyone else once it he knew if it would even be allowed. Now he just had to make Mac understand and realize that this changed nothing about what was happening between them. He crossed the bullpen and came to a halt when he saw Brumby in her office. He was leaning towards her. Intimately. The smile she was giving him was one of toleration, but it still made him uneasy. He attempted to push down his annoyance and knocked lightly on her door. He opened it before being told to do so, and stepped into her office. "Mac, can we talk?"

Brumby looked at him, then back at Mac. The smiled had disappeared, and she now looked thoroughly annoyed. "Mac and I were in the middle of something, mate."

Harm ignored him. "Mac, it's important."

She sighed and looked from him to Brumby. "I'll talk to you later, Mic." Her casual dismissal rolled off of the Aussie's back. He held his hands up in surrender and walked out of the office.

Harm pushed the door shut and move closer. She looked so tired. "How are you?" he asked gently.

"Peachy." She stood up and started pulling files out of the file cabinet, keeping her back towards him. "I was looking for you earlier and Tiner told me you were in with Chegwidden." She stopped rifling through papers but still didn't look at him. "I'm guessing you were telling him what you want to do."

"Yes."

She bit her bottom lip and forced back the tears. She absolutely refused to cry again. At least not in her office. "So that's that?"

He stepped closer to her and glanced quickly at the window. No one seemed to be paying them any attention. He touched her hand and grimaced as she jumped. "Mac, look at me. Please." He watched her shoulders droop slightly and restraighten almost immediately. She finally turned to face him. "Nothing is done yet. I just told him what I wanted. It still has to be approved, I still have to pass tests, and then wait for orders. Nothing is happening immediately."

"But as long as it's approved it's going to happen, isn't it?"

It was his turn to look away. He stared into the busy bullpen for a long moment. JAG headquarters had become a second home over the past few years. He admired and respected his CO. His coworkers had become friends for the most part, and like family in some instances. He had fallen in love with the woman standing in front of him. He would never regret becoming a lawyer, but he knew he would always regret not giving the the pilot thing one more shot. "Yes. But it doesn't change us. The long distance won't be fun, but it's temporary. We can get through this."

She scoffed and sat back in her chair. "Harm, there is no us."

It was his turn to scoff. "Please. There is an us, and there has been for a while. You're not ready, so it's not official but we both know where this is leading."

She leaned towards him. "And how is it going to get there if you're an ocean away? With limited phone access. We'll go at least six months at a time without seeing one another, and when you are stateside you won't be in DC. The best we could hope for would be three hours away in Oceana. That is no way to start a relationship."

"Mac, we are not 'starting a relationship'." We've already started one. We started one two and a half years ago. It's gotten stronger and more complicated since, but this isn't new. We're not two strangers who've been on a few dates and I am suddenly breaking it to you that I'm leaving and asking you to wait for me. We're two people who have been through hell and back together since we've met. We've gotten through everything that's been thrown at us so far, and I know we can make it through this. Mac, I-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by the ringing phone on her desk. Not breaking eye contact she grabbed it. "Major MacKenzie." She looked away to grab a notepad and a pen. She scribbled something down and said goodbye. She hung up the phone and sighed. "I have to go to Norfolk."

"Now?"

She nodded. "Yes. I have witnesses to interview and they're available today only." She powered down her computer and pushed the open file drawer closed. She gathered her briefcase and purse and finally looked at Harm. "I have to go. I'm sure we'll continue this later."

He discretely reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let's continue this tonight. Please."

Mac hesitated for a minute and finally nodded. "Okay. I'll call you when I get back tonight."

"Drive safe, please." He offered her a smile and walked out of her office behind her.

* * *

After a very long day, Mac was finally nearing her apartment. A small part of her just wanted to keep driving and never have to finish this painful and frustrating conversation with Harm. Another part wanted to get it over with. And another part just wanted to tie him to her bed and spend several hours convincing him that at least six months apart was a terrible idea.

When she was in her apartment, she gave Harm a call to let him know she was home.

"Would you like to go out, or would you like me to pick up something and come to your place?"

She looked longingly at her sofa. "Do you mind if we eat something here? I'm pretty beat."

"That sounds perfect. Any preference?"

"Surprise me. See you soon, Harm."

Mac hung up and headed to her bedroom to change. She stripped out of her uniform and hung it up neatly before sliding into a pair of skinny jeans and red tank top. She went into the bathroom and brushed her hair and bobby pinned her bangs back. She walked back into the living room and spent a few minutes straightening up and pondering her throw pillow situation. She was starting to think she had too many. And the one with the pom-pom fringe really needed to go. She was refolding the throw that had a permanent home on the back of the sofa when the doorbell rang. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before going to answer it.

Harm smiled when the door opened and nearly salivated when he saw her. She really should wear jeans all the time. These were faded and snug, but not skin tight. The tank top she was wearing had straps about the same thickness as his thumbs, was low cut and fitted. He cleared his throat and attempted to speak. "Hey. I brought tacos."

She smiled and took the bag he was holding. "Thanks. Come on in." She stepped out of the door way and made her way to the kitchen. She reached into a cabinet for plates and glasses. She set them on the counter and turned to find Harm in her personal space. "Harm."

He put one hand on her waist and pulled her closer. His head dipped and he kissed her softly. "Last night you told me you loved me. And I never got the chance to say it back. I'm completely in love with you, Sarah. It doesn't matter if I'm in the office next door to yours or on an aircraft carrier in the Mediterranean Sea. That isn't going to change."

"Harm." Her voice was barely audible.

"I know you're scared. I know you're not 100% ready. But nothing is going to change this." He brought one hand to her face and brushed his fingers over her cheekbone. Her eyes were huge, and he felt as if he would die if he didn't kiss her. He bent his head and kissed her again. The hand that was on her cheek moved to cup her head. The kiss grew heated and he backed her to the cabinets and then lifted her so that she was sitting on the counter and he was standing in between her legs. He kissed down her neck and nipped at the sensitive skin at the base of her throat. "God, I want you." He whispered into her neck. He slid his hands underneath her shirt and began to lift it up. Her hands were suddenly on his and gently pushed him away.

"We can't, Harm."

He took a step back, placed his hands on her waist and helped her down. "I know, you're right." His hands lingered on her waist and he kissed her once more before stepping further away. They made their plates in silence and headed over to the small table in her kitchen. She set the plate down and went back to the counter for the glasses she pulled out, while Harm went for silverware. She filled two glasses with ice and water and went back to the table. Mac winced as Harm unwrapped a container with spinach enchiladas. He laughed at her expression. "Don't worry, these are for me." He pulled out another container with steak tacos and black beans. They ate in a pleasant silence for a few minutes. Harm put his fork down. "I meant it, Mac. I'm in love with you."

She shook her head. "No, you're not. You just think you are."

His eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"You're not. You just think you are because of all we've been through this year. I've heard that relationships that begin under extreme circumstances never last."

He rolled his eyes. "Isn't that a line from that speeding bus movie?"

Mac blushed. "Maybe. But it doesn't mean it isn't true."

"I know how I feel, Mac. I'm in love with you. I know you're an excellent debater, but you're not going to talk me out of being in love with you." He saw her fighting a smile and grinned.

* * *

They finished their dinners and tidied up the kitchen together, and then made their way into the living room. The domesticity of the evening made Mac tear up all over again. "If you leave, we won't have this," she said softly.

"I know." He looked at her and then back at his folded hands. "I don't want you to think this is easy for me. It isn't. I don't want to leave you- ever. But this is something I have to do."

"I know." And she did know. She pulled her legs up and crossed them, tucking her bare feet under her thighs. "So where do we go from here?"

He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. "I think that you need to say to hell with not being completely ready and give us a chance." He saw her start to say something, and continued quickly. "Mac, if people always waited until they were 100% ready to do things, no one would ever do anything. Let us spend the time before I leave- if the admiral lets me leave, together. And then when it's time for me to go you can decide where we go next. You'll decide if you want to give the long-distance thing a try, or if you don't think we have what it takes to make it work."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm so afraid of what will happen if it doesn't work. Where does that leave our friendship?"

Harm shook his head and moved closer to her. "Our friendship will always be okay, Mac. As long as we're completely honest with each other. If you decide this isn't what you want things may be a little awkward for a while, but it'll eventually be okay. I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep."

He flashed her his brilliant smile. "I haven't yet." He closed the gap between them and kissed her again. He pulled back and said, "Mac, I know that being together now could make the distance harder. But it could also show us that we have something that makes the distance worth it in the end. Give us a chance, Sarah. Please."

She bit her lower lip and after what seemed like an eternity she nodded. She stood and gave the hand still holding hers a tug. "Let's give this a chance." He stood and pulled her to him. He held her as close as physically possible for a moment before kissing her again and then following her to her bedroom.

**End Part 9.**


	10. Chapter 10

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: We're still late in season 4. The time line has changed a little bit. Most people use the date the episode originally aired as the time frame for fanfic. I go by those dates too for the most part. But for the purposes of this story, let's just assume that Harm doesn't leave so quickly. As for the long Memorial Day weekend? I'm basing that on my own personal experience. My active duty husband gets Friday and Monday off for Memorial Day, so that's what the folks at JAG get.

**Part 10**

Harm knelt by Mac's side of the bed and stroked her hair. "Mac. Wake up." He placed kisses on her shoulder and moved down her arm. She finally began to shift and eventually opened her eyes.

"Hi."

He flashed her his famous smile. "Hey there. God, you look good in the mornings."

She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and sat up, clutching the sheet to her. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and then back at him. "Why on earth are you up so early?"

Harm kissed her lightly. "Work. I didn't bring a uniform with me last night, so I need to run by my place to change."

"Okay." She slumped back down and pulled the bedding up to her neck. "I'll see you at the office later then."

"Should I- I mean, do you…"

She rolled onto her side and laced her fingers with his. "Grab an extra uniform, Harm. Please." She smiled as his face lit up and he leaned in for another kiss.

She rolled over onto her stomach and wrapped her arms around her pillow. She had another hour before she needed to get up and didn't want to waste a single second of it.

* * *

Back at his apartment Harm showered quickly, put two extra uniforms in a garment bag, and threw some toiletries and civilian clothes into a duffel bag. He grabbed the box of condoms from his nightstand and contemplated them for a moment. The first time they were together she hadn't insisted on one. The subsequent times she had, since he had recently been with other women. He needed to go have a blood test done just to give her a little peace of mind. He threw the condoms in the duffel and zipped the bag closed.

He arrived at JAG and rolled his eyes when he saw Mac's Corvette in her usual spot. He was up at least an hour before her and she still managed to beat him to the office. Once inside he immediately groaned. "Fucking Brumby," he muttered. Brumby was perched on the edge of her desk and was laughing at something. He went to her open door and tapped lightly. "Morning Mac. Brumby."

She noticed the briefcase in his hand and smirked. She found his jealousy about 50% charming and about 50% annoying. If they were going to attempt a long-distance relationship, he was going to have to get over that. "Morning Harm. I actually need to talk to you about something once you get settled."

Harm lifted an eyebrow and nodded. "Let me drop this off," he gestured at his briefcase, "and get some coffee. I'll be right back." He reluctantly headed to his own office, leaving Brumby alone with her.

Mic was persistent, but he got the hint. He stood up and grabbed his coffee cup. "I'll get back to work. I'll see you later, Mac."

Mac leaned back in her chair and sighed. She reached for her purse and dug around for the pack of Poptarts she had tossed in this morning. She pulled one out of the foil package and pulled off the corner. Once she and Harm were in her bedroom last night, the conversation had come to an end. He had convinced her to give their relationship a chance, but they hadn't talked how to handle things at the office, specifically whether or not they were going to tell people. She was popping another piece of the Poptart in her mouth when there was another tap on the door. She looked up and smiled as he walked in and shut the door behind him.

Harm flinched when he noticed the Poptart. "Tomorrow morning I'd love to make you a real breakfast before work." He laughed softly when she rolled her eyes. "Is everything okay?"

She nodded. "Everything is good. I just realized that we didn't talk about how to handle our relationship while we're here. Do you want to tell people, or keep things quiet?"

He shrugged. "I'm more than happy to go talk to the Admiral right now if you want."

"I think I'd like to keep things quiet."

Harm sat back. "Oh. Okay. Any reason why?"

"Harm, my personal life has been all over this office over the past year and I hate that. I hate the gossiping, the whispers. And I really hate that Carolyn and Jordan asked what I thought of your sexual prowess just from assuming we'd been together. Can you imagine what it would be like if they know we're together?"

"You're right," he said, "but if people know then maybe I won't have to watch Brumby hit on you all day every day. That's getting really annoying."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Harm. Please. I can't handle another man trying to control me. Ease up on the jealousy. Mic's flirting is completely one sided. I'm not remotely interested in him." He opened his mouth to speak, so she continued. "Please, Harm. I'm not a possession. I'm yours because I want to be. I choose to be. I choose you, and I'll continue to choose you. Mic is not a threat, no matter how much he flirts."

He nodded, but didn't look entirely convinced. "I guess I need to work on my jealousy."

She placed her hand on his and briefly brushed her thumb over his knuckles. "Please do. Because you have no reason to be jealous."

* * *

Harm left the Admiral's office and felt the need to sit down. The meeting hadn't gone well, but it was done. The SECNAV had approved the request to change his designator. He didn't have new orders yet, and no one could really tell him how long that would take, but it was happening. And now he had to tell Mac. He also needed to tell his mother. And see his mother. It had been a while, and there was a very good chance that she would murder him if he returned to flying without paying her a visit.

Mac wasn't in her office, so he went to his own and sat down at his desk. They had spent every single night together since deciding to give this thing between them a chance, but he tried to never presume they were spending the night together. He tapped his fingers on his desk for a minute before picking up the phone and dialing her cell phone number. He picked up a pencil and began tapping the eraser. She finally answered and just hearing her voice made him smile. "Hey."

"Hey there. Is everything okay?"

"Of course." There was a lot of noise in the background and he frowned. "What are you up to?"

"Hold on one second, Harm. I'm at the mall and it's so loud in here." He waited for a minute until the noise all but disappeared. "Hi," she said again.

"At the mall on a work day? Tsk, tsk Major."

She laughed. "I had a meeting near Tyson's Corner, so I decided to take lunch and run by the mall to pick up a baby gift for Bud & Harriet." She wandered through Bloomingdales and picked up a gorgeous lace shift dress in the prettiest shade of lilac. The dress was short with a scalloped hem and short sleeves. She picked through the dresses looking for her size. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I've got a meeting soon and I'm in court this afternoon, so in case I didn't see you today I wanted to see about tonight. Do you want me to come over tonight?"

Mac shut the door to the fitting room and sat down on the bench. "Absolutely. Come on over after work. If I'm not home yet just let yourself in and make yourself at home."

He smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Good. Want to cook tonight or go out?" He heard a zipper sliding and cocked an eyebrow. "Was that a zipper?"

"Yes. Hold on." He waited for a moment and then heard another zipper. "I'm trying on a dress at Bloomingdales. And let's cook tonight. We should make that shrimp and orzo dish again."

"Sounds like a plan." He thought about her undressed in a mirrored dressing room at Bloomingdales and bit back a moan. "A dress, huh? Any special occasion?"

"No reason. I came in here because it was quiet and the dress jumped out at me. Maybe we'll have to do something this weekend that gives me a reason to wear it."

"Definitely." He looked up at the knock on his door, and held up one finger to Mattoni. "Mac, I've got to run. Mattoni is here for our meeting. See you soon."

"Bye handsome." She pictured him blushing and smiled. "I'll see you tonight."

* * *

Mac made it to her apartment first, and called to tell him she was home and had stopped by the grocery store for the ingredients for their dinner. She hung her new dress in the closet and quickly changed into yoga pants and the red tank top that Harm seemed to enjoy so much. He appreciated her in this top so much she had actually purchased five more in assorted colors at J. Crew this afternoon. She was brushing out her hair when she heard the front door open. She quickly pinned her bangs back and hurried into the living area.

Harm sat his briefcase on the floor and his cover and keys on the entry way table. He lit up at the sight of her and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a long kiss. "Hey." He pulled back and looked her over. "It's unfair to every other woman in the world to look that good in lounging clothes."

She beamed and pushed herself up to give him another kiss. "Thank you. Go change. I'm going to go start peeling shrimp for dinner."

"Yes ma'am." She watched him walk away and she headed into the kitchen.

A few minutes later Harm joined her in the kitchen. He was just as comfortable in navy blue running pants and a fitted gray t-shirt. He came up behind her and placed a kiss on her neck before reaching over her for a small bowl to marinate the feta in. They worked in companionable silence for a few minutes and once the orzo was cooking and they had a window of time before adding the shrimp he decided it was time to tell her.

"Mac, I need to tell you something."

She looked up from the cutting board she was washing and turned to face him. "What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "The SECNAV approved my request to change my designator."

The color drained from her face and she sat down. "Do you have orders yet?"

Harm shook his head and knelt before her. He rubbed his hands over her legs before folding his arms over her knees. "No orders yet. The Admiral doesn't really know when those will drop."

A tear fell and she quickly wiped it away and placed her hands over his. "I'm okay."

He wasn't sure if she was saying that for his benefit or her own. "It will be okay. We will be okay. But I do have something else to run past you."

She raised her eyebrows. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"I haven't told my mom yet. I'm going to call her tonight and let her know. But I need to see her before I leave. Will you come out to La Jolla with me? I'd love for you to meet her and Frank."

Mac bit her lip lightly. "I'm not sure, Harm. Don't you think your mom would rather have this time with you alone?"

"I know she would absolutely love to meet you. She asks about you every time we talk, and she has pretty much since we met. She thinks you're 'quite the girl'. And those are her exact words." He smiled at the feminine blush. "Please? I'd really love for you to come with me."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes. I'd absolutely love to."

* * *

Dinner was finished, the dishes were clean, and they had settled on the couch for the evening. "Do you want privacy to call your mom?"

He shook his head and sat down beside her. "This isn't going to be pleasant." He dialed his mothers' number and leaned back. Mac pulled her legs up and lay them across his lap. He ran his hands up and down her shins and squeezed a little tightly when his mother answered. "Hey mom."

"Harm! Darling, how are you?"

"I'm good mom. How are you and Frank?" He listened to Trish talk about the sailing trip they had just taken with another couple and the new artist she had lined up for her gallery. He watched Mac as they chatted and saw her smile a few times. His mom was loud when she got excited and he was pretty sure Mac could hear every word she was saying. The smile dimmed when she heard Trish ask Harm what he was going on in his world.

"Well, I actually have some big news. A few weeks ago, I found out that my vision problems had been misdiagnosed, and I had surgery to repair the issue." He heard her sharp intake of breath and looked down at Mac's legs. "Mom, I'm able to return to a flying squadron."

"Harm, you can't be serious." She was stunned. "You're a lawyer. You're a good lawyer. You've built a good life. Why in God's name would you give all of that up to return to the lifestyle that killed your father?"

He winced and felt Mac place her hand over his. He looked up, forced a smile for her, and then turned his hand over so their palms were touching. She laced their fingers together and squeezed. "I have to do this. I know you don't understand and I know you think it's a mistake. Everyone does. But it's something I have to do. I joined the Navy to fly, and now I have a second chance to do that. I have to take it."

"I'll never understand this obsession the men in your family have with flying. Never." Trish took a calming breath to steady her nerves and looked up at the doorway. Frank had walked in and was watching her with a concerned expression. "Will I see you before you go?"

"Yes. Of course. That's the other thing I wanted to talk about. Would next weekend be an okay time to come for a visit? I get a long weekend for Memorial Day."

"Next weekend would be fine." Her voice had lost its excitement.

"Perfect. And mom, there is one more thing. I'd like to bring Mac with me. She and I have started seeing each other." There was silence on the other end. The silence continued longer than Harm was comfortable with and he pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure they hadn't been disconnected. "Mom? Are you there?"

"Harm," she started, "I don't know whether to jump for joy or curl up into a ball and cry. After all this time you two have wasted, you finally realize what's been there all along and now you're leaving?"

He bristled and Mac squeezed his hand again. "Mom, I know the timing is terrible, but I have to do this. Mac knows and even though she doesn't like it, I think she understands." He glanced at her and gave her a small smile when she nodded. "So, next weekend?"

Trish sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "Next weekend. Let me know your flight details when you have them so we can pick you up at the airport."

"I will. I love you, mom. Give Frank my best."

"I love you too, Harm."

Harm hung up the phone and leaned back. "That was almost as hard as telling you." Mac smiled sympathetically and Harm tugged at their joined hands and brought her to him. He gave her a gentle kiss and pulled her to his chest. "Can We just stay like this for a while?"

Mac buried her head in his neck and breathed him in. She pulled back enough so her words weren't muffled. "We can stay like this for as long as you want." She laid her head against him and listened to his heart.

He brought his hand up and ran his fingers through her hair. Just her presence soothed him. He didn't know how he was going to manage six months away from her. He just hoped that this was all worth it, and he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.

**End Part 10.**


	11. Chapter 11

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Part 11**

Trish spotted her son instantly. He hadn't started scanning the crowd yet and instead was smiling as the beautiful woman he was with said something and gestured animatedly with her hands. It was her first glimpse of the two of them together, and she was happy she got a candid look at them. They made a beautiful couple. Her son was as handsome as ever, and looked casual and young in jeans and a pale blue shirt. The woman was more beautiful than she had imagined. Her hair was short, her eyes were dark and she was already quite tall, but the summery shoes with a modest heel gave her a couple of additional inches. And the navy and white striped t-shirt dress she wore was youthful and made her legs look about ten feet long. Trish watched as they stepped out of the way of other passengers and stopped. She watched Harm cup her face and kiss her gently. When they pulled apart Harm quickly pulled the bag off of her shoulder and put it on his own and flashed her his winning smile. He placed his hand on her back and they had just started walking again when he noticed his mother.

"There they are." Harm said, gesturing with his head. "The couple that looks like they stepped off of the cover of a Brooks Brothers catalog." She looked up at him and smiled, and they quickened their pace, while Frank and Trish began walking to meet them halfway. When they were close enough for a greeting, all four stood awkwardly. Mac and Frank both glanced at their significant others, waiting for their greeting. When neither moved, Frank extended his hand to Harm, and after they shook, he pulled Harm in for a hug. When they pulled apart, he turned to his mother. "Hi mom." His voice was soft and a tad uncertain. Trish stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her son. Harm hugged her tightly, and they stayed locked together for a long moment. When they parted, Harm put his hand on the small of Mac's back and gently pulled her closer. "Mom, Frank, I'd like you to meet Mac – Sarah MacKenzie."

Frank embraced her first, then Trish. "Mac, it's so wonderful to finally meet you." Trish said. "I'm so glad you were able to join Harm on this trip."

"I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me." The two couples made their way to baggage claim for their suitcases, and then to Frank's large SUV.

* * *

Traffic was heavy and the ride to the Burnett's home took longer than usual. Once there, Trish gave Mac a quick tour and then demanded that she make herself at home. Harm and Mac were left alone in Harm's old room to settle in.

Mac opened the glass doors that led to a private balcony and took in the breathtaking view. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like to grow up in a place like this. The balcony overlooked a peaceful stretch of beach as well as the Burnett's massive deck with a state-of-the-art outdoor kitchen. She took in the view for another moment and then went back into the room. She looked around the room and frowned a little. "So, this was your bedroom growing up?"

He had unzipped the hanging bags and was hanging their clothes in the closet. "This was where the magic happened." He said with a smile.

She examined the books on the bookshelf and traced her finger over the spines. "This room doesn't really look like you. I was expecting to see a lot of plane paraphernalia."

Harm walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her. He rested his chin on her shoulder and looked at the books. He hadn't been much of a reader, so his mother had styled the shelf with an eclectic mix of art books, military history books, and books about music and musicians. "I brought a woman home once before for Thanksgiving. And this room was still set up the way it had been before I left for Annapolis. Complete with a full-sized bed and planes hanging from every inch of the ceiling. I didn't mind the planes and Navy stuff everywhere, but the bed was so small & uncomfortable we ended up moving into the guest room." He turned her around and kissed her gently. "I feel weird talking about bringing another woman here while I'm holding you."

Mac rolled her eyes and leaned up to kiss him. "Don't be silly. We both have a past. You don't have to feel weird about that."

He nodded and ran his hands up and down her sides. "I know. I'm just so used to jealousy from the other women I've had relationships with lately… but I keep forgetting that the jealousy was always in regard to you."

She smiled and circled her arms around his neck. "I promise I won't get jealous or insecure unless you give me a reason to be."

"You don't have to worry about that." He kissed her again.

She pulled back and looked around the room. "So, your mom redid the room after that visit?"

He kept her hands around her and moved them toward the bed. He gently pushed her down and then plopped down beside her. "I'm pretty sure she was ordering new furniture the moment we were on the plane back home. She left what she thought went with the new room, but everything else is packed up in the attic and waiting for me to eventually have space for it at my house." The hem of her dress had risen a bit, and he lifted it up a little more. She smacked his hand away.

"Harm. We've been here for twenty minutes. We are not having sex right now." She laughed as he rolled on top of her and toyed with her hem again.

"Do you have any idea how good your legs look in those shoes and this dress?"

She rolled her eyes again, pushed him off of her, and sat up. "You've made that pretty clear. I think I smacked your hand away at least 45 times on the plane." She hopped off the bed before he could start touching her again. She looked around the room again. "Your mom has amazing taste. This room – the whole house – it's beautiful."

He had discretely moved to the edge of the bed and grabbed her hand, pulling her back down. "You're beautiful." He kissed her gently, and pulled back. He moved one hand to her head and fiddled with a strand of her hair. "Thank you so much for coming with me. It means a lot."

Mac smiled and linked one of her hands with his free one. "There's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be."

* * *

Trish was sitting at the table on the deck and looked up when the door opened. Mac walked onto the deck and greeted her with a smile. Trish had suggested going out for dinner, but Frank had thought having dinner at home this first night would be a better idea. A charcuterie board sat in the middle of the table, and a platter of raw salmon and marinated vegetables waited by the grill.

"Hello darling. Is Harm in the shower?"

Mac nodded. "He is. Do you mind if I join you?"

"I would love that. May I get you a drink?" Trish stood and made her way over to the small bar. "We have wine, beer, a variety of liquors. I make an excellent mojito."

She paused and placed her hand on the back of one of the chairs. "Just a sparkling water or iced tea would be great."

Trish couldn't help but look her over. She blushed when she realized what she was doing. "Sorry. Water. Of course. Is San Pellegrino okay?"

"Yes please." Mac bit her lip, and decided it was less awkward in the long run if Trish knew she was an alcoholic. "I'm not pregnant, Trish. I'm a recovering alcoholic."

Trish turned to face her, eyes wide. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry."

Mac shook her head. "There's no need to apologize. It's something I've dealt with for a long time. It's just easier for everyone if I'm upfront about it." She noticed Trish starting to pour a second water. "Please drink what you'd like. I promise it's okay."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I promise. Just ask Harm. He drinks around me, I even go to bars with our friends. It's not a big deal."

"Okay." Trish poured herself a glass of wine and carried the two drinks over to the table. She took the seat next to Mac and sipped her wine. "I'm so glad you were able to join Harm on this trip."

Mac smiled. "I am too. I've heard a lot about the two of you." She sipped her water and reached for a cracker. "Your home is absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you, darling."

Mac studied the older woman. She could tell Trish had the potential to be warm and friendly, but she was coming off as slightly cold. She wasn't sure if it was all because of Harm and his imminent return to flying, or if she didn't approve of her. "Trish, may I ask you a question?"

"Absolutely." Trish reached her own cracker and then sliced off a sliver of cheese.

"Do you disapprove of my relationship with Harm?"

Trish widened her eyes, sat the cracker down and grabbed Mac's hand. "Of course not! I think the two of you are absolutely wonderful together. I saw the two of you today at the airport and I was just floored by how happy he looked. Mac, I don't think I have ever seen him look that happy." She released her hand and looked down at her wine glass. "I'm trying to put on a happy face, but I am so angry that he's going back to a flying squadron."

Mac nodded. "I know. Believe me, I know." She took a sip of her water. "We weren't officially dating when he told me and I was absolutely devastated. We've been heading towards this for a long time, and right when it starts to happen, he tells me that he's leaving and we're going to spend a minimum of six months apart, and then when he is back on the continent the best we could hope for is for him to be three hours away at Oceana. That's not how this was supposed to be."

"It's not how it's supposed to be." Trish agreed. Her voice was soft and sad. "His crash was terrible, Mac. It was terrible. He was so broken and frail. And not just his body, but his spirit. Seeing my son that way was the worst time of my life. Even worse than losing his father."

Mac shook her head, "I can't even imagine."

"I know he's an excellent pilot, but I don't think I could go through that again. And if the worst happened and I lost him- I can't even wrap my head around it. And it makes me so damned angry." Trish took another sip of her wine. "And I know it's irrational, but I want you to talk him out of it and a small part of me is angry that you haven't done it."

Mac smiled sadly and covered the older woman's hand with hers. "Trish, I want to. You have no idea how badly I want to. But I can't do it. He wants to do this and he feels like he needs to do it. If I asked him not to do it and he stayed for me I know he would end up resenting me. Six months apart isn't ideal, but him resenting me wouldn't be ideal either."

"I know. And you two are wonderful together. You're right not to ask him to." Trish shook her head. "I just want him to be safe."

"Hello ladies." Frank said and he and Harm stepped onto the deck and smiled. Harm took a seat next to Mac and leaned in to kiss her cheek. She caught a whiff of cigar and raised an eyebrow. He grinned sheepishly. "Harm, can I fix you a drink?"

"Thanks, Frank. Bourbon please." Harm looked Mac over and smiled. He leaned into her and plucked the strap of her green tank top. "You kill me with these shirts."

She cast a quick glance at the bar, where Trish now stood with Frank, and then looked back at Harm and gave him a devilish smile. "That's why I bought one in every single color." She squirmed as his hand moved up her thigh and plucked at the hem of her navy shorts. "Later." She mouthed.

* * *

Dinner was enjoyable, and Trish had mellowed some after her talk with Mac. They had been sitting around the table enjoying the evening for a while when the jet lag finally got to them and they excused themselves to head to bed.

Harm used the bathroom first and when Mac finished her turn, she was surprised to find him flipping through one of the art books in nothing but his boxers. "I was sure you'd be passed out by now."

He closed the book and set it on the floor next to the bed. He walked over to her and rubbed his hands over her bare arms. "I'm not that tired."

She leaned into him and kissed him hungrily before pulling back and whispering, "You've been tormenting me all day."

"Me? You couldn't have worn jeans on the plane? Or at dinner?" He moved his hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it off, before moving his fingers to the closure on her shorts. He pushed them down and took in the very sheer panties and bra she wore and felt as if he would explode. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of undressing you."

She tilted her head to the side and gave him easier access to her neck. She fisted her hand around his erection and smiled at his quick intake of breath. "Are you sure you want to do this in your parents house?"

He slipped his hand inside her panties and put one finger inside her. He found her hot and wet, and he moaned into her neck. "Dear God, yes."

Mac moved her hand from him long enough to pull his boxers down and he did the same with her panties. He moved his hands to the strapless bra and unhooked the clasp. It fell to the floor and his mouth instantly locked on a nipple. He licked and sucked while she stoked him lightly. Finally, she pushed him away, unable to take it anymore. "I need you inside me. Please." They moved to the bed and he hovered over her. He kissed her as he entered her, swallowing the moan he had come to expect.

* * *

"Oh my God." She panted as she lay on him when they had both finished. "I take back everything negative I ever said about doing it slow. That was amazing."

Harm laughed softly and kissed her head. "It's always good with us."

"Thank you for getting tested." Mac said, as she snuggled into him and kissed his chest. "It's so much better without a condom."

"I agree." He pulled her close and kissed her head again, and then her shoulder. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She ran her fingers through his chest hair and looked up at him. "Harm, I need to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything. You know that."

She propped herself up on an elbow so she could see his face and nodded. "I do know that. If I asked you not to return to a flying squadron, would you?"

He took a deep breath and sat up. He studied her and smiled. Her hair was a mess, she was wrapped in a sheet, and her beautiful eyes looked nervous. He thought of the future he wanted to have with her someday. He imagined a child with her eyes. He thought of her showing up on the plane to Russia and staying with him every step of the way. He would give her everything he could, and would give her anything she wanted. "Yes."

Her eyes filled with tears and she bit her lower lip and nodded. "Okay."

He cupped her face and wiped away a stray tear. "Are you asking?"

She placed her hand over his and shook her head. "No."

"No?"

She offered him a small smile. "I couldn't ask that of you. I know you need to do this. I may not like it. I actually hate it. But I know you need to do this."

"Do you think we'll be able to make the long-distance thing work? I know when we started this you weren't sure. But the last few weeks have been pretty incredible." He looked down. "At least they have been for me. I hope they have been for you."

"Hey." She put a finger under his chin and gently lifted his face. "The last few weeks have been amazing. And I think we'll make it work. It's going to be excruciating, but you're worth it. What we have is worth it."

**End Part 11**


	12. Chapter 12

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: This part is mostly just fluffy filler. I'm honestly just trying to drag out Harm returning to flying for as long as I can. I want my Harm & Mac to have time together, to make memories, and to have a world outside of the walls of JAG HQ.

**Part 12**

The sun rose over the Pacific Ocean, filling the bedroom with a nearly blinding brightness. Mac stretched in the insanely comfortable bed, and then nestled in closer to Harm. His erection pressed against her, and within seconds his hands began to rove.

"What time is it?"

She turned over to face him. "It's almost 6:00."

He groaned. "Why are you awake so early?" He buried his face in her neck and she smiled. He was on the verge of going back to sleep, but his hands seemingly had a mind of their own.

"My body thinks it's almost nine." She ran her fingers of one hand through his hair and moved her other hand to his inner thigh. "Harm," she whispered, "I'm going to go for a run. Want to join me?"

"Absolutely not." His head was still buried in her neck, so his voice was muffled. She started to extract herself from his arms, but they tightened around her. "Don't go."

"I need a workout. I was much too sedentary yesterday."

"No, you don't. We did plenty of moving last night." He nuzzled her neck before pulling his face back to look at her. "Besides, if you go for a run, we'll miss out on our Saturday morning sex. Which has become my favorite way to start the weekend."

She grinned and finally pulled herself free. He started to frown but then stopped when she climbed on top of him. "I don't see why going for a run means that we'll miss out." She bent over and sucked lightly on his neck. "You can always go back to sleep afterward."

He was much more awake now, and moved his hands to her breasts. He teased her nipples before leaning up and taking one, and then the other into his mouth. She dropped her head back, enjoying the sensation. She bit back a groan as he used his teeth to nip, then raised her hips and lowered herself on top of him. He stilled, then lowered his hands to her hips and held her tightly.

"You feel so good."

His voice was thick with sleep and lust and she felt herself get wetter. "God, so do you." She began to rock her hips gently, and he began to thrust upward. She sat up straighter and arched her back, letting him fill her completely. She hissed as she felt the orgasm begin to build, and bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood.

Harm watched as she rode out her orgasm. It was possibly the sexiest thing in the world. Her face was flushed, her chest was heaving, and when she opened her eyes, they were nearly black. He grabbed her hand and tugged her down, so that she was pressed against him and he rolled them over. She wrapped her legs around him and he began to thrust harder. He winced as her teeth sunk into his shoulder, but didn't slow his pace. It wasn't long before she was on the edge again and he covered her mouth with his. They came together, and he collapsed on top of her.

After a minute his weight became too much and she nudged his side. He rolled off and settled on his back. He twisted his neck and studied her, also on her back and a little breathless. "What got into you?" He smiled at her. "I'm not complaining, but our morning sex is usually pretty leisurely."

She grinned and rolled onto her side so she was facing him. "I have no idea." Then she noticed the bite mark on his shoulder and winced. She ran her finger over the indentions in his skin and looked back at him sheepishly. "Sorry." She took a deep breath and tried again to get out of bed.

"Are you actually going running now?" His tone was incredulous.

She opened one dresser drawer and pulled out socks, clean panties and a sports bra, and then running shorts and a moisture wicking athletic top from another. "Yes. We'd have to do that for about four hours to equal a good run, and I think your parents would eventually notice."

He rolled his eyes. "Mac, I'm sure they know we have sex."

She shook her head. "Right now they're just assuming we have sex. I'd really rather they not actually know." She finished dressing and slipped on her running shoes. "I'm going to do at least a few miles. Are you going back to sleep?"

"Yep." He rolled on to his side, and pulled her abandoned pillow to his chest. "Have fun."

Mac leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. "I will."

* * *

She had expected to find the rest of the house asleep at this hour, but found Frank in the kitchen. He was dressed in workout clothes and greeted her with a warm smile. "Good morning, Mac. Are you coming or going?"

"Good morning." She smiled brightly in return and took the top off of her water bottle to fill it up. "Going. I was so sedentary yesterday, I could use a good run."

"I'm heading out myself. I usually do 5 miles on the beach if you'd like to join me. I'd love the company."

She nodded. "If you're sure you don't mind, I'd love to."

He filled his own bottle, and opened the door to the deck. "Let's go then."

They walked to the beach and did a few minutes of stretching before falling into an easy pace. They ran in silence for a few minutes, and then they started to talk. The conversation was easy and comfortable. Frank gushed about meeting and marrying Trish, and the challenges that a young Harm had presented. She told him about joining the Marines, her time in Bosnia, and some of the challenges that an adult Harm presented. He had laughed so hard when she told him about Harm firing the rifle in the courtroom ceiling that they were forced to stop running. He was in awe of the languages she spoke, and was especially fascinated by the Farsi, asking her to say certain phrases. By the time they had finished running seven miles and were walking back up the deck stairs, he was completely smitten with her, and she found herself thinking how different her life may have been with a father like Frank.

They stepped back into the house and Frank popped into the laundry room for two towels. He handed her one and looped his around his neck and they walked to the kitchen. Trish and Harm both sat at the large island, cups of coffee and sections of the newspaper in front of them. Trish wrinkled her nose as Frank approached to give her a kiss.

"You two should go get cleaned up," Harm said, "then we can go get breakfast."

Mac nodded and took a sip of Harm's coffee. "I won't be long." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and a brilliant smile before running upstairs.

Frank remained in the kitchen. He took a sip of his wife's coffee and smiled at his stepson. "Harm, she is absolutely delightful."

He grinned and nodded. "You're telling me. It took me so long to really see it, and now it nearly punches me in the face every single day. She's amazing."

"That she is. I mean, how many women can run on a beach while speaking Russian and Farsi to humor an old man. Absolutely delightful."

Harm laughed. "The Farsi gets me every time too. It's a beautiful language." He clapped a hand on his stepfather's shoulder. "But if you were able to keep up with her, I don't think you really qualify as an old man."

Frank grinned and took another sip of his wife's coffee. "Well, I'm going to get a shower. I'll be back in just a minute."

Trish watched her husband disappear to their room down the hall and smiled at her son. "Looks like someone has a little crush."

Harm laughed and leaned in to kiss his mother's cheek. "He has good taste." She beamed at him, and they both returned to their newspaper.

* * *

After breakfast Trish had suggested taking the boat out for the afternoon. They wouldn't have enough time to sail to Catalina Island, but it would still be an enjoyable outing. They returned to the house for swim suits and sunscreen and then headed to the marina.

"Wow." Harm looked at the yacht in awe. "This is much nicer than the one you guys had when I lived with you."

Trish grinned. "We upgraded two years ago. Isn't it beautiful? There are two cabins below deck, two bathrooms, a kitchen, the whole nine yards. Now that Frank is working less and we're spending more time on the water, we wanted something more comfortable."

Frank hopped climbed aboard and extended his hand to his wife, and then Harm did the same. When all four, and their things, were safely on board, Frank spoke a few words to the marina attendant and they slowly started leaving their slip.

"We're going to go explore," Harm said, "and change into our suits. We'll be right back."

Trish was already reclined on the seat nearest to Frank and nodded. "We'll be here."

Harm grabbed Mac's hand and they made their way downstairs. They went into one of the cabins and Mac shut the door behind them. "Whoa. This is nicer than either of our apartments."

He looked around the spacious room and agreed with her. He saw her start to unbutton her top and gave her his most lascivious smile. "Need any help?"

"Hands to yourself, Rabb."

He crept closer, grabbed her and pulled him to her for a kiss and started playing with the buttons on her shirt. "If your bikini is too revealing, I may not be able to control myself."

She playfully smacked his hands away and stepped out of his reach. "Well it's a good thing I didn't bring a bikini." She pulled a one-piece navy suit out of her large purse and waved it at him. "It's the most conservative one I own, so behave."

Harm rolled his eyes and began taking off his own clothes. He peeled off his shirt as she was shimmying into the bathing suit. She noticed the bite mark was still visible on his shoulder and winced.

He looked up from the drawstring of his blue and white striped swim trunks and his mouth nearly watered. The suit had a deep v-neckline, the straps were so delicate they were almost non-existent, the leg openings were cut high, and based on the way she was standing, he could tell there was nearly no back to it. "That's the most conservative swim suit you own?" He stepped closer to her and traced one delicate strap with his finger. "These straps must be some kind of engineering marvel."

She ignored him and put her fingers on his shoulder. "You may need to put your shirt back on."

He looked where she was touching and grinned. "Yeah, you got me pretty good." He pulled his t-shirt back on, and watched as she pulled a soft cotton sundress over her suit. "Mac, you look fine. You don't need to cover up."

"I know. I'm just not really comfortable showing this much skin around your parents. I will if we get in the water, but while we're on the deck I'd just rather be covered."

Harm pulled her to him for a kiss. "They love you."

Mac smiled. "I hope so." She pulled away and folded the shorts and top she had taken off and sat them on the bed, along with her underwear and her purse. "Ready to go back up?"

Once they were back on the deck, Trish stood. "Darling, can you steer the boat for a few minutes while we go change?"

"Of course." Harm and Frank switched spots and he watched as they disappeared down below. Mac sat next to him and stared out at the water. Harm followed her gaze and rubbed one hand over her back.

His fingers moved aimlessly over her bare skin and she turned to look at him. "Is everything okay?"

He nodded. "It's fine. I'm just a little annoyed with myself."

She pulled her legs up and rested her arms on her knees. "Why on earth are you annoyed with yourself?"

He shook his head and gestured at his surroundings with one arm. "It's hard to explain. I'm mad that I never let myself enjoy any of this when I was younger. I'm mad that I resented my mom and never gave Frank a chance. I spent my whole life obsessing over my father, and never let myself be apart of the family that I still had. They would have to beg me to go boating with them when I was young, or to go to golfing. Or even just to join them for dinner. I can't tell you how many times I ate alone in my room. I'm really enjoying myself, and it's making me hate that I wasted so much time being angry with them. It's not just the boat, but just having coffee with my mom this morning, and having a cigar with Frank last night."

She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed gently. "They both understand, Harm."

He gave her a sad smile. "I know. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to stop being an ungrateful shit."

"It's not too late to make it up to them. Make more trips out here. Invite them to visit you. They're still relatively young, Harm."

He looked back out at the water and sighed. "That's going to be hard to do when I'm on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean."

She felt something tighten in her stomach. He wasn't the only one having a wonderful time. She was as well, and had nearly forgotten the reason behind this trip. "I know," she said softly.

* * *

Frank and Trish rejoined them, and Frank and Harm switched seats again. Trish's black suit was similar to Mac's, but with thicker straps, and she wore a purple sarong around her waist. Frank had no shirt on and the two of them eyed Harm and Mac curiously.

"Why are you two dressed? You're on a boat. It's be pretty hard to enjoy the sun while dressed."

Harm smirked at Mac. "Mac asked me to keep my shirt on since she bit me pretty hard the last time we-" His words were cut off when she clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Harm!" His name came out in a hiss, and she had turned bright red.

Trish laughed and put her arm around the younger woman's waist. "Please don't be embarrassed. You two are young and beautiful, and a healthy sexual relationship is nothing to be ashamed of." Harm pulled his shirt off and tossed it on one of the chairs. Trish glanced in his direction and shook her head. "Sweetheart, this boy was a teenage Casanova. I've seen it all. Believe me."

"I wasn't that bad," he shot back.

Frank raised an eyebrow. "You were pretty bad son." He smiled at his wife and tapped the seat next to him. "We're embarrassing both of them, Trish. Come sit with me and give them a break."

"Are there loungers at the bow?" Harm asked.

"There are." Frank confirmed. Harm put his hand on the small of Mac's back and gave her a nudge. He watched them walk towards the other end of the boat and smiled at Trish. "You're lucky he didn't push you overboard."

She laughed. "He deserved a little payback for throwing her to the wolves. That poor girl. I didn't know someone could turn that red that fast." She watched as Harm lay down on one of the loungers and pat the seat next to him. She pulled her sundress off and more gracefully lay on the other lounger. Trish watched as Harm leaned over and kissed her and then laughed at something. "She's wonderful," Trish said, "I don't think I've ever seen him so happy."

"I never have either," Frank said, "but I don't think it's all her." He uncapped a bottle of water and took a sip. "I think it's just as much finally knowing what happened to his father as it is her." She looked at him, and then back at her son. "He's been looking for his father for most of his life," Frank continued, "it's colored every single moment of his life. But now that massive weight is off of his shoulders. He can move on and be truly happy without feeling like he's betraying him."

Trish studied her husband and smiled softly. "You're a good man, Frank Burnett. I hope you know how thankful I am for you every single day."

**End Part 12**


	13. Chapter 13

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Notes**: Not really important, but just for timeline purposes let's say that this takes place about two weeks after their trip to La Jolla.

**Note 2**: Pensacola. All of my experience with the military comes from the Air Force. It may be different in the Navy, but I don't know anything about Navy life & deployments, so if any of this is blatantly inaccurate, I apologize in advance.

**Note 3**: I've been struggling with how to end this & when to end this, and I think the end is almost here. This story was about two friends who found comfort with one another during dark times, and eventually it would turn in to more. It's obviously turned into more, so I think we're pretty much done here. **HOWEVER. There will be a sequel**. I like this world (the actual JAG world and the world I've made for them), I like these characters, and I've still got so much I want to write, but I feel like it belongs in a separate story.

**Part 13**

Pensacola. Forty-eight hours. Pensacola. Forty-eight hours. Pensacola. Forty-eight hours. The same four words were on a non-stop loop in his head, and he knew they would be until he could find Mac and tell her. And then he had to get to his apartment and pack. And then he had to get on a plane and head to Florida. And then it would be approximately six months before he saw Mac again. And it was making him crazy that Mic Brumby would get to see her every day.

He stepped into the bullpen and saw Bud watching him, concern etched onto his kind face. He gave him a brief nod, and then went to find Mac. He found her in the kitchen and cleared his throat as he walked in. She turned and smiled brightly, a soda in one hand and a bottle of tea in the other. She extended both to him.

"I can't decide. Pick one."

He tapped the tea quickly. "Soda is going to kill you eventually."

She shrugged. "Everything could kill you eventually." Then she smiled at him and put the diet soda back in the fridge. When she turned back to him, she finally noticed his expression. "What's wrong?"

"I…" He cleared his throat. "I have my orders."

Her face paled and she sat the unopened bottle on the counter. "When? Where?"

He reached for her and pulled her into his arms, not caring even a little bit that they were at JAG. He placed a kiss on her temple and then whispered the words that had been running through his head on a continuous loop. "Pensacola. Forty-eight hours." Her body trembled and he knew she had started to cry. He tightened his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. He wasn't sure how long they had been standing there when another throat cleared. He looked up and saw Admiral Chegwidden standing in the doorway, his face a lot kinder than it had been when Harm had left his office.

"Major, do you have anything pressing this week?"

Mac quickly wiped at her eyes and shook her head. "No sir."

"If you'd like to take a few days of leave, I hear Pensacola is really nice this time of the year."

Her eyes filled with tears again. She bit her lower lip and then nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"You both get out of here. Mac, I'll see you on Monday." He extended his hand to Harm. "Take care of yourself, Commander."

Harm shook his hand and smiled. "Thank you for everything, sir. It's been a privilege."

* * *

An hour later Harm's office was cleared out, he had said his goodbyes to his coworkers, and he and Mac were on their way to her apartment. She was going to pack first, and then they'd leave her car at her place and go to his together. The ride to his apartment was quiet. Mac stared out the window, not registering anything they drove by. She knew this was coming. She had told herself repeatedly since they got home from La Jolla that his orders would come any day now. She had told herself that she was strong and resilient and she wouldn't fall apart when it happened. But now it was happening, and all she wanted to do was curl herself into a ball and cry.

Harm reached over and grabbed her hand. "Everything will be okay, Sarah. I promise it will be."

She glanced at him and gave him a sad smile. "Is it?"

He looked at her again. "Of course it will be. Why wouldn't be?"

Mac stared straight ahead. "Pensacola, Harm. Pensacola. A six-month deployment is one thing. Military couples deal with deployments every single day. And when the person returns from that deployment they go home to their family. But when you get off of that ship, you're going to be living in Florida."

He shook his head. "We'll make this work. All of this is temporary."

"How?" Her voice rose, the frustration and anger finally smashing down the sadness. "How, Harm? Please tell me how? How is this going to work when I'm in Washington and you're in fucking Pensacola. It's a fifteen-hour drive, Harm. How is this going to work? Are we going to leave work at the same time on Friday, meet in the middle around midnight? Then turn around and head home on Sunday? What kind of relationship will we have when all we will have is one fucking day?"

"We could get married." The words had been out of his mouth before he could stop them. He stole a quick glance at her. Her mouth was open and her eyes were huge. "We could get married, and we could put in for spousal co-location, and you could come to Pensacola. I'm sure they need lawyers in Pensacola."

"Harm, please pull over."

"Mac, this isn't the greatest area. We'll be at my place in five minutes."

"Harm. Please pull over. Now." He exhaled loudly, put his blinker on and pulled into a nearly empty parking lot. Once the car came to a spot, she unbuckled her seat-belt and turned in her seat to face him. She took a deep breath. "I'm going to ignore the proposal." She started, making air quotes when she said the word proposal. "If you ever propose to me for real it needs to be romantic. It needs to not be in response to my questioning how we're going to make our relationship work."

"Not if. When. When I propose to you for real."

She shook her head, ignoring him. "I am absolutely not leaving JAG headquarters to move to Pensacola. I've left JAG once before, and I knew it was a mistake as soon as I left. I am not leaving until someone tells me that I am. And hopefully that's several years and at least one more rank down the line. I'd love to run an office. I'd love to take care of my people the way that Chegwidden takes care of us. And I'm not going to accomplish that by being a staff judge advocate in Florida. You're taking a step back in your career by doing this. You know that you are, and you're okay with that. Please don't ask me to do the same."

"You're right." His voice was quiet. He knew she was right. He knew that for a military lawyer, headquarters was where you wanted to be. "I'm sorry. But you're scaring me, Mac. I know it's going to be hard for a while. But I know we can make it work, but it seems like you're just ready to throw in the flag. And if that's the case, tell me. I will call Chegwidden right now to get these orders cancelled."

"Harm."

"I mean it, Mac. Ask me to stay and I will."

"You know I can't do that." Her voice was heartbreakingly quiet. "You want this so badly. I won't do that to you."

He put his hands on her face. "I love you. I love you so much. That won't change. Let's deal with this one step at a time, okay. Let's deal with this deployment first. Then we can deal with Pensacola. I will try my damnedest to get orders to Oceana. Or Norfolk. Or as close to DC as I possibly can." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't throw in the towel before we even have a chance. Okay?"

"I'm scared, Harm. I'm so scared."

He leaned over the console and took her in his arms the best he could. "I know you are. But all of this is temporary. I promise. It's all going to be okay."

She nodded. "Okay." He tilted her face up and kissed her gently. She pulled back and brushed her fingers over his lips. "And I love you too."

* * *

He couldn't believe he had asked her to marry him. That wasn't the way he was supposed to say those words to her. Marriage wasn't supposed to get mentioned for the first time during what could pass for an argument. He looked up from the pile of boxers he was folding and studied her. She had changed out of her uniform and wore running shorts and a snug white t-shirt. A strand of hair had come loose from her short ponytail and he realized her hair was longer than it had been when this thing between them started. He tried to imagine how long it would be the next time he saw her.

"Penny for your thoughts."

He shook his head and focused his eyes on her face. "Your hair is longer than it was when we first started dating."

She cocked her head to the side and gave him a wry smile. "I guess it is." She walked over to him and ran her fingers through his hair. "I think yours is about the same." She put a hand on his cheek and rubbed her thumb over his jaw line.

They stood in silence while she continued to rub his jaw. His heart began to beat faster and he couldn't pull his eyes away from hers. He placed his hand over hers, stilling her movement. "What do you say we just throw everything into a bag, call Dulles and get the first flights we can to Florida. And then spend the next 40ish hours making love in an obscenely overpriced oceanfront hotel in Destin."

"Harm, you're leaving for 6 months. You need to make sure you have everything."

He shook his head. "Toiletries. Clothes. About a million calling cards. I'll have what I need. I'll be in Florida for a few days before I leave for the Patrick Henry. If I need anything, I can stop by the NEX or have you ship something to me." He moved his hand from her face and moved both hands to her waist. He slipped his hands under her shirt and ran them over her rib cage. "Come on, Mac. Let's do this." His hands slipped a little higher and brushed the underside of her breasts. He lowered his lips to her neck and placed gentle kisses along her throat.

She pulled away from him, her eyes dark with desire. She nodded. "Yes. Let's go. Call an airline." She watched as he sat down on the bed and picked up the phone on his nightstand. He dialed information and waited to be connected. She listened as he spoke to a ticket agent and then reached for his wallet to retrieve a credit card. He read off the number, thanked the agent and hung up the phone.

"The next flight isn't for three hours."

"Perfect." Mac moved her hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She moved to him and straddled him. Her lips moved to his neck while his hands went to her breasts. "Three hours is plenty of time."

**End Part 13**


	14. Chapter 14

**It Started in Russia**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Some friends will do anything for each other.

**Part 14**

He slid out of the sinfully comfortable bed and pulled on the boxer shorts he had discarded the previous night. He studied Mac for a moment, trying to sear this moment into his memory. She was hugging a pillow to her chest, and her dark hair and golden skin stood out against the fluffy white bedding. And she was so beautiful it made his heart ache a little.

They only had a few hours left together before he took her to the airport, so she could head back to Washington and he could begin his new life as an aviator. He went to use the bathroom and then came back to bed. He pulled off his shorts and slid between the covers, curling his body around hers. She stirred and he placed a kiss on her bare shoulder.

Mac shifted again and turned to face him. He put his hands on her face and kissed her. She ran her hands up his back and into his hair. He pulled back a bit and nudged her onto her back, and hovered over her. He placed soft kisses on her jaw and throat, before moving to her breasts. He massaged a breast with one hand, and went lower with the other, slipping one finger inside her and finding her wet and ready. He pulled out his finger and moved his mouth from her breast and moved down her body, settling his head between her thighs. He licked gently and felt her body tense.

"Harm." Her voice was soft and he looked up. "I need you inside me."

He nodded, understanding. He moved back up her body and paused before entering her. He took in her dark eyes and mussed hair. They had gone out to a special dinner the night before, and she still wore small diamond earrings. "I love you so much."

Her eyes watered at the thickness in his voice. "I love you too." She placed her hand on the back of his head and brought him to her for another kiss.

He slid into her and he couldn't help but smile as she gasped. He (and his ego) would never get tired of that sound. He moved as slowly as he possibly could, wanting to draw this out for as long as possible. He wanted this to last forever.

* * *

Multiple orgasms later, her head was on his chest and her fingers were drawing shapes on his belly. "I'm not asking you to stay, but I don't see how flying a plane could possibly be more enjoyable than that."

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing will ever be as enjoyable as that." They lay in silence for a moment. He ran his hand up and down her back, while her fingers continued to draw random shapes.

"Are you nervous?" She felt him take a deep breath, and lifted her head to look at him.

"I'm not nervous about flying. But I am nervous about being part of a fighter squadron again. That's going to be a lot of testosterone and big egos to deal with. It's going to be a lot different than dealing with hyper-rational lawyers." He placed another kiss on her head. "I'm going to be an old man compared to some of these guys."

"Do you know anyone on board?" His fingers stopped moving and she shifted, propping herself up on an elbow.

"Yeah, actually. Do you remember Elizabeth Hawkes?" He smiled as he watched her try to put a name with a face.

"Skates? The RIO from the Seahawk?" She frowned slightly as she remembered how pretty the younger woman was. And how she and Harm had hit it off instantly.

"That's the one. She's at Oceana, and her squadron is deploying to the Patrick Henry next week as well." He noticed she was frowning slightly and he tapped her temple. "What's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?"

"Nothing." She turned her head to look at the balcony doors.

"Mac." He gently turned her head to face him. "What's on your mind?"

She shook her head and then sighed. "Just remembering that you two seemed to really hit it off when we first met her."

His eyes widened. "Don't even go there. If I'm not allowed to be jealous of Brumby, you're not allowed to be jealous of Skates. Especially since there isn't anything to be jealous of."

Mac raised an eyebrow. "So, you're not jealous of Mic anymore?"

He shrugged, "I don't like the guy. I think he's going to try to weasel his way in now that I'm gone. But I trust you." He ran his hand down the curve of her waist and squeezed her hip. "I trust you," he repeated. "I love you. And even if you weren't in the picture, she's much too young for me and is engaged. You have nothing to worry about."

"I know." She sat up and pulled the blanket with her, covering her breasts. "I'm used to seeing you every day. I've seen you almost every single day for the past three years. It's going to be really difficult not seeing you every day. And even though it's irrational, I'm jealous that she'll get to see you every day."

He sat up as well and leaned in to kiss her. "It's going to be okay, Sarah. I promise it will be."

* * *

Harm called and ordered room service while Mac showered. He was signing the credit card slip for their breakfast when she walked out of the bathroom. Her jeans were snug, and the fitted green t-shirt she wore had a deep v neckline. The diamond earrings, which he had learned were a gift from her uncle when she graduated from law school, had been replaced with simple silver hoops.

"That smells so good," Mac exclaimed. She sat down at the small table and pulled the cover off of her plate. She picked up a strip of bacon and looked over at Harm. He had an odd look on his face and she put the bacon down. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "My head is just full of things we need to talk about before we say goodbye."

She wiped her fingers off and reached over for the receipt and pen that rested on the cart. "Let's do it now. While we're both clear headed enough to think straight."

Harm nodded, stood, and went to the duffel bag he had packed for the weekend. He fished out a set of car keys and dropped them into her purse. "My keys, obviously. Since we took my car to the airport. Will you park it at your place while I'm gone?"

"Yes, of course."

He sat down across from her and lifted the cover from his own dish. "I haven't had time to put my mail on hold yet, so can you grab that for me until it stops? And my apartment… I'm going to call the head of the owners' association tomorrow to tell him I'll be out of town for a few months. Can I give him your number to take care of any issues that might come up?"

"Harm. You don't even need to ask." She took another bite of bacon and then a sip of her coffee. "What else? It's been so long since I deployed, I can't remember much of what needs to get done."

"I feel really bad asking you to clean up after me, but do you mind emptying my fridge? There isn't much in there since we stay at your place most of the time, so it shouldn't be too bad."

She flashed him a bright smile. "Nothing would give more pleasure than throwing out that jar of vegan mayonnaise you have in there."

He rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee. "I think that's it. I hope that's it."

* * *

Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a piece of white paper in her hand, when he emerged from the bathroom. She wordlessly turned the piece of paper to him. He glanced at her name scrawled across the front, and then to his neatly packed overnight bag.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to be efficient."

He nodded. "It's fine." He gestured at it. "It's obviously meant for you, anyway." She smiled and ran her fingers over her name. "Have you read it yet?"

She looked at him and shook her head. "No." She bit her lip and looked from him to the envelope. "I'm actually a little scared to."

"Go ahead. It's nothing bad. Just some things I wanted to tell you, that I didn't think I would be able to say. I've gotten better at this, but you know it's still hard for me to talk about how I feel."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Tell me what's in it."

He took the envelope from her and set it aside. He took her hands and brought one to his lips. "It says how much I love you, and how much I'm looking forward to the future that I know we're going to have. It says how much I admire you, and how amazing I think you are to have overcome every bad thing that life has thrown at you. It says how thankful I am to have a partner in every sense of the word, one who challenges me and tells me when I'm being an idiot, and praises me when I do something right. I've come to really appreciate that balance. It says that I know my 'proposal' doesn't count," he grinned when she snorted through her tears at the use of his air quotes, "so I'll spend the next six months planning one that'll blow your mind."

"Harm, I'm not ready for that…"

He waved her off. "I know. I'm not going to step off the boat and drop to one knee. But it's going to happen someday. I know it. Where was I… Oh, and it says that I promise not to do anything careless or wreckless. I'm not going to take any unnecessary chances."

She tugged him to her and wrapped her arms around him, and buried his face in her neck. "I'm going to miss you so much."

He kissed her temple. "I'm going to miss you too."

* * *

A few hours later they were at the airport. Harm went with her through security and now they sat in the uncomfortable chairs waiting for her flight to board. Her fingers brushed over the letter as she dug around for the pack of M&Ms she had tossed in earlier. She couldn't wait to read it. She glanced at him and noticed for the first time how unsettled he looked. "Are you okay?"

He jerked, and then smiled sheepishly. "I'm okay. I'm just… I don't know. I'm more anxious than I expected to be."

"You're a different person than you were last time you spent months at a time on a carrier. It's normal to be nervous."

"It's not just that. Mac, I – I wasn't leaving anyone behind last time I did this. And the uncertainty of all of this unsettles me."

She looked at him, surprised and a little hurt. She looked down at her hands and spoke quietly, "I thought you were so sure everything would be okay?"

He cupped her face and tilted it back up to look at him. He leaned in and kissed her gently. "No, I'm not worried about us." He laughed nervously, "I'm just thinking about the logistics of keeping things going. Are we going to plan phone dates? Are we going to chat via instant messenger? I'm worried it'll be all email and no actual taking to each other. I'm worried about time zones differences and what if I'm only available when you're asleep, or vice versa. It's just something I never had to think about before."

She smiled and brushed her fingers over his cheek. "We'll figure it all out."

"Mac?"

"Yes?"

"If you have any assignments in San Diego, will you stop by and see my mom? I know that would mean a lot to her. And Frank." He grinned and nudged her. "He has a little crush on you."

She rolled her eyes. "Please stop teasing me about that. And of course I'll go see your mom."

"Flight 1013 to Dulles International Airport will start boarding in just a few moments. Please have your boarding pass and ID in hand. Thank you." The announcement finished, and the other passengers began to stand and grab their bags and the hands of their children.

Her eyes widened and she looked at him. She shook her head a little and her eyes instantly filled with tears. "Oh God, I'm not ready for this."

He stood up and grabbed her hand and pulled her up as well. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Six months, Mac. We can do this." He whispered the words in her ear, his voice thick.

She pulled back and looked at him. She wiped a tear away and sniffled. "Why am I the only one crying?"

"You're not." A tear fell down his cheek. She reached up and wiped it away with her thumb. "I'm just trying to be strong for you. I'll cry when I've checked into my room on base later tonight."

"You don't have to be strong for me."

He nodded, "Yes I do. Since I'm the one doing this to us." He saw people lining up and felt a tightening in his chest. She noticed the change in his expression and turned to look. She turned back to him, her lip clinched between her teeth. He knew she was trying to hold it together. He lowered his forehead to hers. "I love you, Sarah. Don't forget that. Don't doubt that. Not for one second."

She placed her hands on his cheeks and leaned up to kiss him. She forgot about the crowded space they were in and kissed him with everything she had. When they parted, she moved her thumb to his lower lip. "I love you. Stay safe, okay."

"Yes ma'am." He studied her for a long minute, committing every single inch of her to his memory. "Go," he whispered.

She nodded and picked up her purse. She leaned in for one final kiss before taking her place in line. He stayed where he was until she finally reached the agent and had her boarding pass scanned. Before departing down the corridor, she turned and looked back. She gave him a sad smile and a slight wave. He held up his hand in return, then she turned and almost immediately out of sight. He took a deep breath and headed to the parking deck and hoped for the umpteenth time that he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.

**The End.**

(For now. There will be a sequel, and the first part should be up next week.)


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